Back at it.

It’s been awhile, a very long while. So much has changed and yet, so little. 

So, what’s changed? My baby girl is now a toddler. A crazy 3 year old, with most amazing vocabulary and entertaining personality. She’s always up for fun and a giggle, she’s friendly and outgoing, she knows what she wants and I’m certain one day this will be a trait I greatly admire in her, although at times it makes me want to scream.

There is however still a baby girl in my life. A sweet little one year old, who is full of smiles and spunk. She’s a quiet the observer and then quickly surprises you with her go-getter attitude. Did I mention she’s sweet? She truly is, the sweetest little thing and she’s been like that from the moment she joined our wee family.

Our world is busier and much more pink, but then it’s always been busy and always very pink. I’m still at this stay-at-home mom thing. Working on not beating myself up over the little things and celebrating the little (& the BIG!) things. Have you ever noticed how it’s easier to beat ourself up than to celebrate our wins, no matter how big? Here’s a win, I’ve finished cups of coffee lately before they’ve gone cold. I won’t get into my dismal feelings of failure…not today at least. I’m sure there’s great pieces of wisdom to be shared, I’m just still working through the process of not picking myself apart too badly. Thankfully His mercies are new every morning and perhaps after nap times, too?

We’ve grown and experienced and been stretched & challenged & here we are still standing. I’m still holding hands with the most amazing man I know. He’s forever wowing us with how he loves, protects, provides, encourages and supports us. Through every season we’ve faced we’ve somehow come through stronger and more committed than before. 

It’s the fall, a new season. Although September is not even close to beginning of the year, in my mind it’s always been the beginning. Perhaps because after our little summer hiatus from everything from actives to favourite TV shows, it’s all starting up again. Or perhaps it’s because in my former career everything seemed to kick start after the summer and I’m stuck in that mode. Regardless, I’m happy for this fall, I’m feeling rooted and ready for all that’s headed our way.

Daddy's Girl

My baby girl loves her daddy. I'm sure for some parents it's difficult when their child picks a favourite. I've read in numerous books & magazines how to handle possible feelings of rejection when you come in second place. Personally, I love it! I can't begin to describe how my heart reacts when I see the two most important people in my life together!

I will never forget watching my husband first fall in love with our girl as he held her in his arms at the hospital. After an emergency cesarean, he was lucky enough to give her her first cuddles & kisses. I've been told that when he said her name as she was being examined by doctors & nurses she immediately turned towards his voice. He has always been equally as effective with calming, soothing & putting her to sleep as I have been (unless she's hungry). Although bath times started rocky for our wee one who hated being naked (until only recently!), they've always been special times for the two of them as upon bringing our little one home daddy assumed the bathing baby role. 

After 13 months of enjoying our precious daughter on the outside, there are no words to describe how amazing it feels to watch her start to share affection with us! My heart has melted as I've watched the man I married, gracefully & confidently step into fatherhood. My heart now bursts as I watch my girl fall in love with the man who will for years to come be the most important male in her life. 

One of her favourite words to say is "dad," & she's so delighted to hear her dad call back to her. When she hears the door open when he returns home from a day at work, her face lights up & she immediately makes her way to his warm embrace. When the three of us are together she often favours being with her daddy. 

How could I possibly be jealous of their sweet relationship? It is so incredibly special to watch the daddy/daughter relationship blossom & grow. I also know that it's quite unique & different from my relationship with her. 

To the dad's out there, know that those moments early on make a difference. As tough as it can be with the screams & cries with a newborn, you're building an amazing foundation for a strong relationship as you head into life with a toddler. Learning your baby's preferences & little quirks not only help your partner out when everyone's tired, but it helps you bond with your baby from the get-go. 

For the moms, don't take the favouritism too personally. Enjoy watching the special unique bond form between your man & baby. Relish in the fact that there's someone who loves & cares for that little person as much as you do! What a blessed child to receive that much love & affection from both parents. 

How could I possibly be jealous of a relationship that I could never fulfill? What an incredible example my girl is getting at a very young age of unconditional love from her daddy. May she know that her Daddy loves her even more (I can't even imagine that's possible, but I know that it is!) than the both of us combined. 

Family is a sweet blessing that I pray my baby girl will always have, know, & be confident of. 

90 birthday candles

My amazing maternal grandmother turned 90 today. My mom's sisters decided to throw her a come & go tea, aka birthday party, this past weekend. Those of us who are blessed enough to be in the same family as her know her resilience & love first hand, as a result it was no surprise to see the many guests attend her party & honour her on this admirable milestone.

If you've ever met my grandma, you know what a shock it is to think that she's 90 years old; not only is she in remarkable physical condition, she has maintained a sharp mind & quick wit. I'm thankful for the influence she's had in my life over the years & for the incredible genetics that she's passed onto her daughters & grandchildren.

My grandma is someone I respect more then I can clearly articulate. She's been a constant source of support as I've travelled the a couple of contents, started a career, gotten married & experienced all sorts of twists & turns. She's someone who displaces unconditional love unlike anyone I've ever met.

In honour of my incredible grandma I wrote the following to share at her party:

Grandma, for 26 of your 90 years I've had the honour & privilege of being your granddaughter; this has brought great responsibility to my life. A responsibility to be a loving, supportive wife. A responsibility to keep my heart & arms open towards my family, as I display unconditional love. A responsibility to be a kind & faithful friend. A responsibility to care for the physical, emotional & spiritual needs if those who enter my home. And finally a responsibility to care for myself, as being in your shape at 90 is something I aspire to. Thank you for being the ultimate role model, it's my great delight to build upon your legacy. I love you.

Among the many blessings in my life that I'm thankful for, my grandma is certainly one of them. It was such a privilege to be able to celebrate this milestone with her. I'm forever grateful to be her granddaughter.

Happy Love Day

It’s Valentine’s Day, the one day out of the year specifically dedicated to love.

For some couples it’s perhaps that one night other then a special anniversary to go “all out” on showing one another just how important, special & cherished the other truly is.

For other couples Valentine’s Day is just another day. Perhaps for them this day is just another day out of the year to tell the other how much they’re loved & appreciated, but really it’s just like February 13^th or 15^th.

There are those whose Valentine’s Day has changed drastically as children have been added to the mix & suddenly, this once romantic day has turned into doting the little people in their world. Little love notes are being left in random places & special little treats are waiting to be opened.

For some, it’s a painful reminder that they are still alone, feeling as though everyone else seems to have someone special in their world. It’s become “Singles Awareness Day” & is faced bravely, though inside is terribly lonely.

February 14^th, a simple day that can hold so many emotions & experiences.

This year, I’d like to share with you what I guarantee will be the greatest Valentine you will ever receive.

“God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son. Anyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.”

John 3:16

For just a moment look at this a bit differently. Where you see the blanks insert your own name:

“God loved _________________ so much that he gave his one and only Son. If ______________ believes in him ________________ will not die but have eternal life.”

This statement spoken thousands of years ago, speaks a great truth of a love has stood & will continue to stand the test of time.

The greatest act of love you will ever receive was given for you before you ever breathed one breath. This act of love doesn’t care about what you’ve done, what you look like or who you are.

So Happy Valentine’s Day whoever you & at whatever stage you find yourself today. May you know & feel a love so great today & everyday!

Thankful

This past weekend Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving, a time set aside every year to thank God for everything we have.

Yesterday a beloved friend sent me a list of 365 things she's thankful for in 2011, which got me thinking. The following list isn't quite 365, not nearly 365 in fact, but here's a few things I was reminded to be thankful for over the course of this past weekend...

I spent Friday afternoon & evening with my lovely sister-in-law, her husband & their beautiful twin girls. I'm thankful to have the kind of relationship with my sister-in-law that I'm able to be apart of their lives on a regular basis. I love that I get to spend time with my lovely nieces & watch as each week they grow up just a little bit more.

Saturday I got to spend basically the whole day with my husband. I'm thankful for someone who's strong, caring, generous, kind, honest, gracious, supportive, understanding, patient, loving, encouraging, wise, smart, sexy...the list goes on. Not only is this man my life partner, he's also my best friend. He's the only one who knows absolutely everything about me & yet still loves me.

Sunday morning in church I was reminded to be thankful that I live in a country where there is freedom to worship my God.

Sunday we celebrated Thanksgiving with both our families. I'm thankful for my roots. My parents are incredible people who have been amazing parents. They've taught me about life & have instilled great values into me. My in-laws are such amazing people who love ms as their own daughter. They have done a fine job in raising my husband to be the man he is today. I couldn't be more thankful for these two families who have shaped my husband & I. We are a direct result of their love, persistence & God's grace. Our meal was delicious & filling. I'm thankful for the abundance of nourishment available to me.

The majority of Monday was spent in my home, which is located in a fabulous little cul-de-sac with fantastic neighbours. I'm happy for the shelter I'm lucky enough to dwell in. It's comfy, it's warm & it's safe. My neighbourhood if full of amazing friendly people, all of whom I know are looking out for us & we for them.

Truly this is just scrapping the surface. There is so much that I'm thankful for & although this list isn't 365 things long, I know without a doubt it could be...

Psalm 136:1

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.

Auntie Catherine

My husband's older sister gave birth to two beautiful baby girls on Friday, May 20 at 3:32pm & 3:38pm. They are the two newest, most beautiful additions to our family & although I have yet to meet these little bundles, I'm absolutely in love!

In fact, I've been in love from the moment the exciting news was shared that my sister-in-law was expecting. My love grew after the ultrasound, when it was announced that there were in fact two little babes growing inside. My love nearly overwhelmed me when I saw pictures from the ultrasound & was told that these two, were in fact fraternal twins & both little princesses. Every little girlie/petite/adorable outfit, fabulous accessory, cuddly stuffed animal that I've seen (& in quite a few cases purchased), my love for these little cuties has grown even more.

Working with children & families full time has allowed me to share in the excitement of many children who have entered the world. Although there are many babies who have been born that are so very dear to my heart, no one could have ever prepared me for the excitement, anticipation, and love that I have for my two nieces.

Knowing that these two little princesses will be a large part of our lives, that these little babes will one day be cousins/playmates etc. with my future children, that these adorable little ones will begin to shape what family get togethers/long weekends/Friday afternoons etc. look like makes my heart bubble over.

The words of Psalm 139 have been rolling around in my head, as I've had moments of remembering my parents speaking them over me throughout my life:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

The truth is that through this whole process I've been reminded of what an honour & privilege it is to invited to partner with parents as they raise incredible kids who love God. With my nieces it's only natural that the family come alongside to encourage & help support throughout the parenting process, which is turning out to be one of the greatest honours I've ever had. I'm realizing though, how amazing it is to essentially be invited into families, as another member, as I come alongside to support & encourage.

To the families that I've been invited into, thank you for giving me this amazing opportunity. I'm realizing more & more just how much of an incredible privilege this is. I wouldn't trade my job or role as Auntie Catherine for anything in the world!

3 years

3 places of residences

13 vehicles

1 ATV

1 Sea-Doo

1 Trailer

4 job promotions

Many laughs, a few tears, plenty of memories

For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness & health

3 little words that never get old..."I love you"

just bragging...

about my husband. I am married to the man who:

• worked long hours all week
• at 11:00pm Friday evening, drove to pick up friend who was stranded on the highway
  
• got up early Saturday morning to get ready for a day of quadding
• drove the opposite direction of the mountains to pick up his friends, before turning around the heading in the right direction
• suffered through seasonal/outdoor allergies all weekend without so much as a complaint or brief whine session
• let his wife tag along for a day of quadding through the snow/rain/sun/mud
• arrived home after said day of quadding, only to manually help neighbor back fill
• got up early Sunday morning to do BV's
• taught 2&3 year olds about Jonah and obedience
• vacuumed both the truck full of mud from previous day, and my vehicle
• had a neighbor friend over who's in the process of making some huge decisions
  
• cuddled wife before falling asleep

I am a blessed woman. The above list may be specific to this past weekend, but I could come up with a similar one everyday if needed.

NOTHING!

I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
(Romans 8:38-39)

Wow.

The past few days I've been trying to wrap my head around these verses, and simply put - I can't.

There is no sin, thought, person, thing, feeling - nothing - that can get in between us and God's love.

There have been times in my life where I've felt distant, and disconnected from a God who's love I can't escape - who's fault could that be?
I think without realizing it I've blamed God for the feelings of distance between us, as if it's His fault that I'm not perfect. And yet, when I take time to read and meditate on two verse from Romans I realize that it's not God's fault at all - it's mine. His love is so huge that I can't be separated from it, so huge that I can't even fully comprehend it...and yet I try to blame Him.

It's my blindness to His love that keeps me from realizing that I can never escape from it.
It's me, it's not Him. And so I make the choice to remember that my sin, my thoughts, the people in my life, the things in my life, the things that I feel - they have absolutely no bounds on God's love for me.

I'm always surrounded.
Always loved.

And so are you

March = Courage

My line for the past couple of weeks has been that "there are only two good things about March; my anniversary and the Ella's birthday."
My husband and I celebrated our 1st (!) anniversary on March 15th. We had a fabulous day together and I so look forward to the many anniversary celebrations to come.
Ella's birthday is on March 22nd. She's a ray of sunshine in my life, the offspring of one of my closest and most trusted friends. She's a darling child that I've had the privilege to know since the day after her birth four (!) years ago.

But along with these two happy occasions are a few sad ones.
One of which being the anniversary of my grandpa's death on March 24th. He was a wonderful man, who is greatly missed by his family and friends. Along with that day of remembrance is his birthday which falls on March 10th.
Not to mention the weather isn't exactly delightful. Although there are glimpses of spring, it seems as though nature is not yet ready to embrace the sunshine and warmth just yet.

As I think of the month of March, I can't help but be overwhelmed by emotions. Both the good memories and sad ones flood my mind as I look at the calendar on my BlackBerry.

In looking closer at the month of March I've come to learn that March's birthstone is the aquamarine and bloodstone. They mean courage.

How profound.

With half the month under my belt I resolve the face the last half with courage and strength.

How is your March looking? In what manner are you embracing the next 14 days of the month?

let the fun begin...

So the countdown is almost over...FOUR more sleeps til the wedding!

Today aunt JoAnne (Matt's mum's sister) arrives from Barry, ON. The party is just starting. Thursday our good friends will be arriving from L.A., plus my aunt Judy & uncle Joe from Regina, SK. And from the there the excitement will just build.

Not to mention tomorrow my day starts with coffee with my best friend Sarah (who's also a bridesmaid!), then I get pampered for part of the morning and FINALLY get to pick up my dress!

I'm loving it...



But I'm also looking forward to the break & much needed holiday following the wedding...bring on the honeymoon :)

12 sleeps and counting...

Twelve
more
sleeps
until
I'm
MARRIED!

And so this week...I prepare to be away for two weeks.
And how amazing it will be to be away from here...
from the busyness life...
from work...
with the one I love.

If you think about it you can join my future sister-in-law with prayers for my sanity :)

one day

I'll look back on today and understand exactly why I went through this season.

It seems like this past year has been a roller coaster, with extreme highs and extreme lows. I thought with the beginning of 2008 the extreme lows would be over and things for the most part would just mellow out with the few occasional highs. Hmmm...seems like yet again God had different plans...although the year has just begun so who knows.

Wedding plans continue as per normal (basically non-existent b/c we have everything more or less figured out). Except for the occasional (and by occasional I mean pretty much never happening) like speed bump everything has been going along fine (37 more sleeps! WOO!)

Work continues on. We're still in a transitional period, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel. God has taught me so much about serving HIM over a vision, a person, a ministry etc. And He continues to teach me that it really is all about Him, regardless of what I or anyone else thinks.

Interesting how when man's agenda gets in the way, and we as humans attempt to take total control of what He's entrusted with us, He comes in and takes control back even if it means completely shutting down what He first entrusted us with.

And one day all of the tears that I've shed, and all the pages I've journaled will make sense as I look back on this incredibly crazy season in my life...and I truly do believe that is all this is...a season.

Just in case you were wondering...

how long it is until I'm a Furukawa...

ONLY 71 more sleeps.

Seventy-one.

Seven one.

10 weeks. TEN!!!

FYI:

Only 117 more sleeps until I'm a Furukawa!!!

something I admire.

My fiance Matthew James is the most amazing man in the world! If you know him you'd agree with me, if you don't know him you must meet him so that you can say you know "the most amazing man in the world."

Let me tell you what he's done recently which makes him absolutely completely amazing...

A friend of ours is spending his summer in Portland doing summer sales, and his parents and brother decided to go for a bit of visit and naturally called "the most amazing man in the world to house/dog/plant/hot tub sit. Why would they call a 20-something year old to do the job? Because he's incredibly responsible and dedicated. You can be sure that Matt isn't going to do something half hearted.

For example...Matt doesn't even like dogs (not usually at least), and while our friend's parents are away he babies these two pups...gives them their special diet, makes trips home during his breaks to make sure they're ok, lets them sit on his lap and sleep with him (?!?). AND, he's always more then willing to watch these two dogs.

Matt is the kind of guy who would give the shirt off his back for you...

or give up part of his long weekend to babysit for you.

Admirable quality...definitely!!!

242 more sleeps...

...until I'm a Furukawa.

I'm engaged to the most amazing man on the planet! He has a heart after God, and is truly the man of my dreams. My checklist is basically fulfilled:
1.pastor (not in the actual paid sense, but he does have a very pastoral heart...and there are those who are trying...haha)
2.surfer (he tried and succeeded in Australia!)
3.cowboy (I have seen him on a horse...and he was quite comfortable, by some people's standards)
4.rich (as far as money goes...we're working on it)
5.able to play guitar (you better believe it and he's actually very good at it!)
6.able to kill a gross and disgusting things that gross me out and try to attack and kill me by eating me! (ask him sometime about the bug as big as my head that he killed).

Matthew James is quite perfect really...and I'm hugely blessed by him, and at times feel quite inadequate and undeserving of someone so wonderful, but then I realize that he's exactly what I've always asked God for because he gets along so well with my family and is my BEST FRIEND.

In case you didn't know, I'm SO excited!