Summertime and Scraped Knees

Living in Southern Alberta, we take every possible moment when the wind isn't howling, the sun is shining and the temperature isn't frigid to spend outdoors. I have two little girls who finish up breakfast and are promptly asking the play outside for the remainder of the day.

My girls are 3.5 and 1.5 years old. If you have toddlers you know that this age means bumps and bruises. Whether they're moving too fast and run into something or trip over their own feet, I feel like someone is always picking themselves up off the floor. I've learned rather quickly that my superpower is to heal "owies" with a single kiss (and occasionally with the help of a Doc McStuffins band-aid).

Being outside with my girls brings all sorts of new accidents to be had. From something as simple as walking to pick up the mail to something as complex as climbing on the playground, the risk of injury is never ending. We've officially entered scraped knee season and currently both girls have scabs on various body parts.

There are certainly times when I'm over cautious,
"don't run on the sidewalk."
"Don't climb up there."
"Stay close."
"Hold my hand."
The maternal protector in me comes out in full force. But I'm learning about balance; about letting my daughters explore and learn their own physical boundaries. While I often cringe watching my youngest run after her sister, envisioning her falling and getting road rash on her chin, there's something so beautiful about watching that sense of independence unfold before your own eyes.

As we're experiencing that transition from "baby to toddler" and "toddler to preschooler," I'm learning to trust my mothering instincts even more. The A-Type, controlling, perfectionist is me is being set aside as the proud mom watches her children grow up and discover the world and their place in it.

Motherhood is such a fine balancing act and I feel that as my daughters are growing, so am I. As they discover new abilities (and speeds!), I'm discovering the fine line between fear and faith in parenting. I have no doubt we'll be buying boxes upon boxes of Doc McStuffins band-aids this summer. I'm also confident knowing that the three of us will grow immensely into exactly who we're supposed to be. As I've been watching my flowers flourish I think it's fair to say that we've been flourishing, too.

"You're doing a good job."

Recently I was out for dinner with my two daughters. As per usual my children were friendly & smiley towards those seated around us, including the table with a family that had two older girls. Following our meal, on the way out of the restaurant, the mom of the family with the daughters stopped me. She asked the ages of my children (3 & 1), commented on how busy I must be (in a knowing sort of way) & then complimented their behaviour throughout the meal.

The exchange of that evening got me thinking about how I interact with other parents, whether I know them or not. We’ve all been there, someone starts melting down in the middle of the store & everyone is all eyes. Some give the sympathetic look, portraying complete understanding of the situation. Others are judgemental, usually as they’ve never been in that situation themselves. Occasionally a passerby will offer the words, “this too shall pass.” But still there the desperate parent is, struggling to keep it together & help their child get it together.

The thing that stuck out to me about my interaction with the fellow girl mom following our mealtime out, was that she didn’t offer me some cliche phrase to make me feel guilty about not savouring these hectic, busy baby & toddler years, rather encouraged my children & more directly my parenting.

I can totally appreciate the sentiment of the phrase, “this too shall pass.” Parents of adult children never fail to let you know that “before you know it they’re grown,” & any parent knows this all too well. I mean, hello, where has the last year gone? Just like that I’m on the cusp of full on toddlerhood with my second child! The days may be long, but the years are certainly, very short. And although that short phrase, “this too shall pass,” is intended to offer some sort of hope, it still leaves a parent feeling desperate & in the moment, often like a failure.

I know that in those crazy moments when the sh*t is hitting the fan & meltdown mode is in full swing, it’s like a car crash; it’s so bad that you want to look away, but you just can’t. Imagine if rather than giving that awkward, knowing smile, or offering some cliche that offers little to no hope in that precise moment, if we simply said, “you’re doing a good job.”

I’ll be honest, I’m my own worst critic when it comes to parenting. There are countless times when I beat myself up as I drift to sleep about situations that I could have handled better, been more patient, spoke more softly, been more kind, been more engaged… What I need more than anything from those who have been there isn’t unsolicited advice (social media offers enough of that, thank you very much), or a catchphrase to make me feel guilty. What I need is someone who’s been there to identify that I am in fact doing the best that I can given the circumstances.

So the next time I witness a meltdown in the grocery store, knowing the self condemnation that accompanies your child losing it, I’ll be the first offer the phrase, “you’re doing a good job,” because really, aren’t we all just hungry for validation? Parenthood is hard enough on it’s own with sleepless nights, endless laundry, mealtime mishaps & feeding struggles, playtime struggles, the witching hour, chaotic bath & bedtimes, potty training, explosive poos, meltdown moments, figuring out childcare etc. etc. etc. What we really need from other parents is a cheer squad. Unless asked, I won’t offer advice, just encouragement. 

Goodness knows we all need.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

Yikes, it's been far too long since I've found myself with a blank page before myself with the opportunity to create & communicate. I have to admit, although I took a very welcome break, it's good to be back. Not only am I back to writing & blogging, but coming up in four weeks I'll be speaking again too!

This autumn/fall has proven to be full of change & in turn exhausting. The beginning of November the conditions were lifted on our offer to purchase a new home in a new community. The two weeks that followed the whirlwind began as I packed every earthly possessions we own & cleaned our first home for a new family to inhabit. This time of transition was incredibly emotional as I essentially prepared for our move on my own.

Three trailers, three Jeep's, two sets of parents & a few amazing strong hands later we were moved into our new home. It was time to settle & begin a normal life together again. Unpacking is much more fun then packing! I found that I made sacrifices in our new home as I found places for all of our possessions & yet in other areas I seemed to have room to spare. All in all, our home was starting to feel just like that, home.

Before I knew it the first of December had rolled around & it was time to prepare for Christmas. Decorations, parties, dinners, friends, family & gifts were in abundance! Oh & I was coughing & had congested sinus'.

New Years came & went with family & treasured life long friends & my cold got worse. Which brings me to today, it's nearly the end of January & I can finally say I'm feeling better...for the most part.

As always, God has been so incredibly faithful to Matt & I. We're now totally settled in a beautiful home, located in a lovely neighbourhood. We've met our new neighbours, all of which are friendly & kind. I've had the opportunity to give my body the rest it's needed as I've fought this awful virus. We've had family & friends to visit us in our new home. After spending three months apart this autumn, we've had plenty of time together to laugh, dream & cry.

Life is exceptionally beautiful & although I currently find myself in a new place, with no job, no friends (although I do have plenty of family around) & no real plan, I'm incredibly content.

With all my excuses out of the way I can say, I'm back! Time to write, dream & create.

90 birthday candles

My amazing maternal grandmother turned 90 today. My mom's sisters decided to throw her a come & go tea, aka birthday party, this past weekend. Those of us who are blessed enough to be in the same family as her know her resilience & love first hand, as a result it was no surprise to see the many guests attend her party & honour her on this admirable milestone.

If you've ever met my grandma, you know what a shock it is to think that she's 90 years old; not only is she in remarkable physical condition, she has maintained a sharp mind & quick wit. I'm thankful for the influence she's had in my life over the years & for the incredible genetics that she's passed onto her daughters & grandchildren.

My grandma is someone I respect more then I can clearly articulate. She's been a constant source of support as I've travelled the a couple of contents, started a career, gotten married & experienced all sorts of twists & turns. She's someone who displaces unconditional love unlike anyone I've ever met.

In honour of my incredible grandma I wrote the following to share at her party:

Grandma, for 26 of your 90 years I've had the honour & privilege of being your granddaughter; this has brought great responsibility to my life. A responsibility to be a loving, supportive wife. A responsibility to keep my heart & arms open towards my family, as I display unconditional love. A responsibility to be a kind & faithful friend. A responsibility to care for the physical, emotional & spiritual needs if those who enter my home. And finally a responsibility to care for myself, as being in your shape at 90 is something I aspire to. Thank you for being the ultimate role model, it's my great delight to build upon your legacy. I love you.

Among the many blessings in my life that I'm thankful for, my grandma is certainly one of them. It was such a privilege to be able to celebrate this milestone with her. I'm forever grateful to be her granddaughter.

So long, farewell

After years of having to say goodbye, you think I’d be good at it, or at least comfortable with it.  The truth is, I’m not.  As I face the end of yet another chapter in my life, I find myself in a bit of denial as I know that all too soon I’ll be saying those two words laced with tears.  I suppose it’s a good thing when one stays “soft,” at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

Reflecting back there are certain goodbyes I distinctively remember.
I’ve had to say goodbye to my parents & siblings as I’ve left the continent, unsure if I’d ever return to call Canada “home.”
I said goodbye to my best friend/boyfriend (now husband), as I went to the opposite end of the world just days after we started dating.
I’ve said goodbye to friends from around the globe, not knowing when, where, or if our paths will ever cross again.
I’ve said final goodbyes to two grandparents who graduated to heaven.
My husband & I have said goodbye countless times as he or I have left the other for days at a time to take work trips.
I’ve said goodbye to besties who have relocated.
Each of these goodbye has been significant & painful in its own way.

Despite these various situations of having to say goodbye to some of my nearest & dearest, I have a feeling the round of goodbyes coming up could quite possibly be one of the most painful.  In just over a week I will be saying goodbye to my church family as my husband & I continue the crazy adventure we’ve on together.  I’m aware that people leave churches all the time, be it because of discontent, unresolved issues, or relocation; what we’re about to do is nothing out of the norm.  However, I’d like to suggest that our departure will indeed be one of great sadness as we are in fact leaving on a good note, yet a difficult one.  I’ve been on staff at our church for over 5 years…  5 of the most difficult, wonderful & stretching years of my life.  I’ve grown in countless ways & learned that there’s a lot that wasn’t actually taught to me in Bible College, that or perhaps I was just to naïve to take notice of that which would prepare me for real life ministry.  We’ve gone through rough patches, as well as some good.  Numerous times the thought crossed my mind to leave earlier, yet I always felt that the timing just wasn’t right & now there’s peace as my notice has been given & my final day is in sight.

Our church has not only been my place of employment, but it’s also become a second family to us.  We’ve created relationships with young & old that have made an eternal impact on our lives.  We’re so thankful for the laughs, tears, coffees, lunches, dinners, desserts & fun we’ve had the opportunity to share with those have accepted & loved us.  We've both grown & matured in countless ways. We've been empowered & released to do what God has called us to in ministry & in our everyday lives.

I know that more goodbyes will come my way over the years.  I also know that this isn’t a final goodbye, as I’m certain we’ll visit this “home” of ours often.  When we encounter those who are a part of this family we’ve grown with, our interactions will not be awkward or unfriendly, rather we’ll embrace with warmth & fondness.  Not only are we moving on with a blessing, we will leave one as we go & although you'll hear goodbyes from our mouths, in our hearts we'll really be saying "see you soon."

About my mom & family

With Mother's Day having just passed, I've been quite reflective the past little while about how incredible my mom is.  Those closest to her & who know her well, know that her life has certainly had it's share of difficult situations & yet, she is strong & could easily be defined as an overcomer.  My mom is beautiful to the core & her beauty from within radiates outwards.  Her identity is defined not by what she does, rather by who she is & by who has created her.  She is without a doubt supportive, encouraging, passionate & faithful.  The way she models unconditional love consistently points me to Jesus.  She loves & values people, a trait that I believe she has passed on & instilled into her children, which leads me to type the following...

I am a lover of all things family. I'm an advocate for the family.

The thing I'm realizing, is that at the core of my love for family, it's not so much about my family, rather about relationships. More then relationships, it's the essence of having a safe place to fall & to receive unconditional love, no matter what.

This love that is so deep within me, I truly believe was placed there the moment I was created. People crave relationships. I think of the movie "Cast Away" with Tom Hanks, he craved relationship so much he became friends with Wilson, a volleyball. There is no doubt in my mind that people were never created to be alone.

Personally, I could not be more thankful for my parents & siblings. Without a doubt my sister is my most trusted, best friend. My parents are one of the few safe places in my life that I can run to regardless of the situation I find myself in. My brother is always just a phone call or text away & although younger then me, has been my "protecter" since we were children.  The family I've married into is equally as important & valuable in my life.  I realize the relationships I have with my inlaws are precious & indeed rare.  My husband & I value our relationships with our family members above all others & desire to create a home where family is always a top priority.

I do realize however that not everyone has been as fortunate as I have in terms of biological parents & siblings. Unfortunately family as I know it is not the norm. This would explain the numerous people who have been in & out my life growing up, acting as "older siblings," as they were seeking a safe place like the home I grew up in.

And this is where one of the beautiful things about families comes in. Family can be created. If at the end of the day, a family is the people you feel most loved, accepted & safest with, then no DNA testing can define or determine your family.  However there is one key factor involved with family as I know it, & that is intergenerational relationships.

A little while ago I had the distinct joy & privilege of spending time with some extended family.  From my great aunt, to cousins the same age as my parents, plus a few cousins closer to my age, these three generations spent some precious moments together & were the envy of many around us.  Every once in awhile I need to pinch myself as I think of the reality in which I live.  I think one of my family's greatest assets is that we're inclusive, as all families should be.

They say that blood is thicker then water.  As it should be.  Family are the ones who stick closest through thick & thin.  Who support & encourage in all circumstances.  Family are the ones who display unconditional love in the most overwhelming ways that cannot begin to be described.

In the end, our family in whatever shape or form it comes will always be there & in turn, need us to be there for them.

Happy Love Day

It’s Valentine’s Day, the one day out of the year specifically dedicated to love.

For some couples it’s perhaps that one night other then a special anniversary to go “all out” on showing one another just how important, special & cherished the other truly is.

For other couples Valentine’s Day is just another day. Perhaps for them this day is just another day out of the year to tell the other how much they’re loved & appreciated, but really it’s just like February 13^th or 15^th.

There are those whose Valentine’s Day has changed drastically as children have been added to the mix & suddenly, this once romantic day has turned into doting the little people in their world. Little love notes are being left in random places & special little treats are waiting to be opened.

For some, it’s a painful reminder that they are still alone, feeling as though everyone else seems to have someone special in their world. It’s become “Singles Awareness Day” & is faced bravely, though inside is terribly lonely.

February 14^th, a simple day that can hold so many emotions & experiences.

This year, I’d like to share with you what I guarantee will be the greatest Valentine you will ever receive.

“God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son. Anyone who believes in him will not die but will have eternal life.”

John 3:16

For just a moment look at this a bit differently. Where you see the blanks insert your own name:

“God loved _________________ so much that he gave his one and only Son. If ______________ believes in him ________________ will not die but have eternal life.”

This statement spoken thousands of years ago, speaks a great truth of a love has stood & will continue to stand the test of time.

The greatest act of love you will ever receive was given for you before you ever breathed one breath. This act of love doesn’t care about what you’ve done, what you look like or who you are.

So Happy Valentine’s Day whoever you & at whatever stage you find yourself today. May you know & feel a love so great today & everyday!

Thankful

This past weekend Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving, a time set aside every year to thank God for everything we have.

Yesterday a beloved friend sent me a list of 365 things she's thankful for in 2011, which got me thinking. The following list isn't quite 365, not nearly 365 in fact, but here's a few things I was reminded to be thankful for over the course of this past weekend...

I spent Friday afternoon & evening with my lovely sister-in-law, her husband & their beautiful twin girls. I'm thankful to have the kind of relationship with my sister-in-law that I'm able to be apart of their lives on a regular basis. I love that I get to spend time with my lovely nieces & watch as each week they grow up just a little bit more.

Saturday I got to spend basically the whole day with my husband. I'm thankful for someone who's strong, caring, generous, kind, honest, gracious, supportive, understanding, patient, loving, encouraging, wise, smart, sexy...the list goes on. Not only is this man my life partner, he's also my best friend. He's the only one who knows absolutely everything about me & yet still loves me.

Sunday morning in church I was reminded to be thankful that I live in a country where there is freedom to worship my God.

Sunday we celebrated Thanksgiving with both our families. I'm thankful for my roots. My parents are incredible people who have been amazing parents. They've taught me about life & have instilled great values into me. My in-laws are such amazing people who love ms as their own daughter. They have done a fine job in raising my husband to be the man he is today. I couldn't be more thankful for these two families who have shaped my husband & I. We are a direct result of their love, persistence & God's grace. Our meal was delicious & filling. I'm thankful for the abundance of nourishment available to me.

The majority of Monday was spent in my home, which is located in a fabulous little cul-de-sac with fantastic neighbours. I'm happy for the shelter I'm lucky enough to dwell in. It's comfy, it's warm & it's safe. My neighbourhood if full of amazing friendly people, all of whom I know are looking out for us & we for them.

Truly this is just scrapping the surface. There is so much that I'm thankful for & although this list isn't 365 things long, I know without a doubt it could be...

Psalm 136:1

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.

what does your character say?

I've been thinking about character quite a bit lately. We all know that actions speak louder then words. What you do & who you are has more weight then what you say. It's hard to listen intently to what someone is saying when you've come to know & experience the opposite through their actions.

As a result I've been hugely challenged to make the way I act matches up with the words I speak. Although I'm not perfect, I certainly want to be someone who lives & speaks with integrity.

I want my life to be one where the things I SAY I value are actually the things I SHOW value towards. I want my life to be one where people aren't left confused & second guessing what I actually mean.

I want my life to be one where unconditional love prevails over judgement. This means that when I notice someone who's actions don't line up with their words rather then dismissing, slandering, or judging I choose to give them the benefit of the doubt & love them regardless...

Partners

This past weekend I received a text message from an excited grandma, telling me that a grandson had asked Jesus into his heart the previous night with his mom. The part of the message that followed totally floored & humbled me, "Thanks for teaching him about Jesus."

Last night my husband & I were talking about this & both came to a unanimous agreement, it is far better for a child to make that amazing decision in the presence of their parents, rather then in our presence. Not that I don't love being able to watch children's faces as they begin a personal relationship Jesus, but there's something so special about this happening in the home...not the mention the fact that I believe that's the way God designed it.

"Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and get them inside your children. Talks about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night. Tie them on your hands and foreheads as a reminders; inscribe them on the doorposts of your homes and on your city gates: Deuteronomy 6:6-9

It is such a great honour & privilege to partner with parents & grandparents as they raise children who know & love God. And that's really what my job is all about, being a partner. As a children's pastor, my job isn't to be the main spiritual teacher in children's lives, that job has been plainly given to parents, but I'm so happy to be apart of the process; to start conversations, plant seeds, prompt questions.

At the end of the day, it's all about partnership.

Auntie Catherine

My husband's older sister gave birth to two beautiful baby girls on Friday, May 20 at 3:32pm & 3:38pm. They are the two newest, most beautiful additions to our family & although I have yet to meet these little bundles, I'm absolutely in love!

In fact, I've been in love from the moment the exciting news was shared that my sister-in-law was expecting. My love grew after the ultrasound, when it was announced that there were in fact two little babes growing inside. My love nearly overwhelmed me when I saw pictures from the ultrasound & was told that these two, were in fact fraternal twins & both little princesses. Every little girlie/petite/adorable outfit, fabulous accessory, cuddly stuffed animal that I've seen (& in quite a few cases purchased), my love for these little cuties has grown even more.

Working with children & families full time has allowed me to share in the excitement of many children who have entered the world. Although there are many babies who have been born that are so very dear to my heart, no one could have ever prepared me for the excitement, anticipation, and love that I have for my two nieces.

Knowing that these two little princesses will be a large part of our lives, that these little babes will one day be cousins/playmates etc. with my future children, that these adorable little ones will begin to shape what family get togethers/long weekends/Friday afternoons etc. look like makes my heart bubble over.

The words of Psalm 139 have been rolling around in my head, as I've had moments of remembering my parents speaking them over me throughout my life:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

The truth is that through this whole process I've been reminded of what an honour & privilege it is to invited to partner with parents as they raise incredible kids who love God. With my nieces it's only natural that the family come alongside to encourage & help support throughout the parenting process, which is turning out to be one of the greatest honours I've ever had. I'm realizing though, how amazing it is to essentially be invited into families, as another member, as I come alongside to support & encourage.

To the families that I've been invited into, thank you for giving me this amazing opportunity. I'm realizing more & more just how much of an incredible privilege this is. I wouldn't trade my job or role as Auntie Catherine for anything in the world!

Wall of Fame

I have a cork/bulletin board in my office that hangs on the wall next to my desk. It's littered with notes, pictures, homemade jewelry, drawings & crafts...all little reminds of the incredible little ones in my life. This board is so full that artwork has spilled over to walls, held in place with sticky tack & push pins.

Although I feel so honoured & loved by these gifts which decorate my walls, sometimes I can't help but wonder who feels more loved. The kids who cry when they have to leave church on Sunday, who invite me to their birthday parties, who beg for an invitation to come to my house, to have my babysit, or to have a sleepover in my trailer while camping, who grow up a bit & begin to invite me to band concerts, sporting events & ask for permission to use my name on resumes...who feels more loved?

For as much as I'm assuming the precious children in my life must feel loved to want to give me gifts & invite me to be apart of their everyday lives, I'm the one who feels more loved then I can express. It's overwhelming for me to look around my office, to read text messages & comments on Facebook. For as much as my Wall of Fame may show how loved those in my world feel, it proves to me how loved I am. Truly, I'm the one who's really blessed.

3 years

3 places of residences

13 vehicles

1 ATV

1 Sea-Doo

1 Trailer

4 job promotions

Many laughs, a few tears, plenty of memories

For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness & health

3 little words that never get old..."I love you"

To the amazing women in my life:

To the women who support, encourage & empower me to be who I've been created to be, thank you! May you feel & know that there is a support system of people who believe in you & your potential, in your corner of the ring as well.

To the women who challenge my thinking, behaviour & character, thank you for not allowing me to become comfortable with where I am, but for challenging me to continue to grow & enlarge my territory. Know that the best is yet to come, and although you're perfect the way you are, there is more for you to accomplish.

To the women who allow me to cry my heart out, share my moments of joy & all the emotions in between, thank you for being a safe place. Know that whenever you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on I am here for you.

To the women who go out of their way to generously give & lavish love upon me, thank you. May you feel that as you are a blessing to those around you that you are in turn being blessed more then you could ever imagine.

To the women who mother & care for me, thank you. Know that you are building something much larger then what you input into my life. The legacy you are building will continue to grow for generations to come.

To the women who come alongside & just do everyday life, thank you for being apart of the journey. I sincerely look forward the the many season ahead that we will get to share together.

To all the amazing women I have the distinct honour and privilege of knowing, Happy International Women's Day! Know that you are loved, cherished, valued & adored.

Love you to the moon & back.

xoxox

commandments

Recently my thoughts have been on the commandments, both the 10 Commandments & what Jesus says are the two most important Commandments.

About a month ago I was part of a conversation with a woman who commented on how her "children know the 10 Commandments; they know what's right and wrong." Although, at the time I was quite impressed (I know the 10 Commandments, I'm not sure I could quote them verbatim and, I'm also 24, not 8!), I can't help but think perhaps something is missing.

While it's good for us to be aware of what is right and wrong, there must be a reason as to why Jesus seems to care about loving God & loving others more then we care about rules & laws.

The problem I think is that really loving people can get messy. At times its as though you're put in positions of having to choose sides. Or, perhaps when you choose "loving" over "judging" you become the one being judged for "condoning" or "enabling".

The truth is, it's much easier to stick to the 10 Commandments. They're straight forward. The law is black & white, as opposed to unconditional love, which I believe is gray, as it cares not about whether what you're doing is classified as "black" or "white".

If Jesus could love in spite of the rules being broken, somehow I must be able to as well. Unfortunately, more value is often placed on the rules then on people, which is where Jesus shows us an opposite way of doing life. People are important, and who they are is not tied up in what they do.

Although I believe living right is important, I'm fairly confident that loving God & loving people has even greater importance. As a result 2 greatest commandments that have been written in red, will be the 2 commandments that I focus on keeping.

get it first

Legacy has been on my mind for the better part of this year. And I firmly believe that legacy must first be built in your own life before it can be built in the lives of others.

It's easy to have hopes and dreams of the legacy you wish to leave behind. The thing is, how can you pass something on if you don't posses it yourself?

For example: You want your future generations to love God with all their hearts, minds, souls, and strength. Before you can ever expect this legacy to be built in your children/grand children/great grand children's lives you must have it built in your own life. If you aren't modeling the relationship with God you hope your children will have, it's hard to expect them to have it themselves. If you aren't reading your Bible, praying, building the Church...how can you put expectations on your children to do that? You can't except your children to be or do something that you aren't being or doing yourself.

If you want your children to respect you and your spouse, guess what? You need to model respect towards your children and your spouse.

It's all about following the leader. So become the leader you want people to follow. Model the attributes and character traits you hope more people would have. Be honest, kind, respectful, loving, generous...

And when you are the person you hope those following behind you will become, you can be sure they'll just continue to built upon that which has been built for them. May your ceiling become the floor of the future generations. Set the ceiling high, and watch the building continue!

intentional connections

I remember while at college hearing the following words come out of Lee Bruns mouth many times: "show me your friends, and I'll show you your future."

I don't know that I fully I understood those words at the time; I was young(er), and truly felt as though I was invincible. Surely I had a larger affect on the lives of those around me, then they had on my life. And although I do believe my life can have an impact on the lives around me, I'm starting to realize how important it is to be intentional about those you surround yourself with.

I've come to realize that you do in fact begin to become like those you spend most of your time with. And in realizing that, I realize that I have an incredible opportunity to influence those around me. And in the same breathe, I realize that I have another incredible opportunity to be influenced by those around me.

Proverbs 27:17 states the truth: "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."

Being intentional about relationships is the key.