January thoughts

For someone who claims to love writing & one day dreams of writing a book, you'd never know it from taking a look at this blog...YIKES!

On the other hand, if you check out dgcchurch.ca and "click" on the "Blog" link along the top menu bar, you'd see otherwise...

Hard to believe that January 2012, is more then half over! Where on earth has the time gone? Seems like I was just preparing for Christmas. New Years came & went basically without me even noticing & now the second & shortest month of the year is nearly here. It boggles my mind to think of how fast time seems to fly by.

This past fall was certainly one of being stretched, challenged & learning to adapt. To say it was a difficult autumn would be a bit of an understatement. It was long & it was tough to get through. There were various moments of wanting to just up & move, to start over some place completely new. The good news is that I persevered, survived & perhaps in some brief moments even thrived. I believe I learned much. I had to work on my heart, which is always good for me & my character.

I think the older I get, the greater appreciation I receive for time. In the culture I live in, we don't like to wait. We want what we want, & we want it right now. No waiting, no lines, instant service please. Over the past few weeks I've really be challenged to re-evalute the value of waiting, being patient & even hopeful. I believe a certain level of contentment comes with being willing to wait. Such a beautiful thing when you exude peace because you're content & full of hope; certainly the opposite to an anxious, rushing society we live in.

All this being said, we're now well into the Winter Season. Things seem to be going rather smoothly & life is looking pretty good, however, I know that life is full of seasons. Perhaps what I'm experiencing at the moment is the "calm before the storm," who's to say what will come next?

In moments like this I'm consciously I'm choosing to be content. I'm choosing patience, hope & peace.

...the desires of your heart

It seems to be fairly common for people to tell me, "you will have the desires of your heart" (Ps37:4). Mostly recently on Monday evening someone yet again spoke these words to me, which reminded someone else of a time when they did as well.

As I've been pondering & thinking about these eight little words that are so often thrown around, I'm realizing that at the moment I couldn't even tell you exactly what "the desires of my heart" are. I've had plenty of dreams, things I've wanted to accomplish. From getting married, to being a children's pastor, owning a home...the list goes on, however these are all things that have already been "checked" off the list.

At the moment, it feels as though I'm in the place of having to dream new dreams. What are those "desires of my heart"? It also feels as though it's the start of a new season in my life, & with this new season it would only seem natural for there to be some new dreams as well. Yet, it feels as though there aren't any at the moment.

The fabulous news, is that those eight little words are preceded by five profound words, "Take delight in the Lord." The truth is, that the desires don't come until I do something. This happens to be the best thing for me at the moment. I may not have a clear idea as to what my dreams & desires are right now, but I do know about delighting in the Lord. I also happen to firmly believe that not only is He the one who gives us the desires of our hearts, but He also plants those desires in our hearts in the first place.

Thankful

This past weekend Canadians celebrated Thanksgiving, a time set aside every year to thank God for everything we have.

Yesterday a beloved friend sent me a list of 365 things she's thankful for in 2011, which got me thinking. The following list isn't quite 365, not nearly 365 in fact, but here's a few things I was reminded to be thankful for over the course of this past weekend...

I spent Friday afternoon & evening with my lovely sister-in-law, her husband & their beautiful twin girls. I'm thankful to have the kind of relationship with my sister-in-law that I'm able to be apart of their lives on a regular basis. I love that I get to spend time with my lovely nieces & watch as each week they grow up just a little bit more.

Saturday I got to spend basically the whole day with my husband. I'm thankful for someone who's strong, caring, generous, kind, honest, gracious, supportive, understanding, patient, loving, encouraging, wise, smart, sexy...the list goes on. Not only is this man my life partner, he's also my best friend. He's the only one who knows absolutely everything about me & yet still loves me.

Sunday morning in church I was reminded to be thankful that I live in a country where there is freedom to worship my God.

Sunday we celebrated Thanksgiving with both our families. I'm thankful for my roots. My parents are incredible people who have been amazing parents. They've taught me about life & have instilled great values into me. My in-laws are such amazing people who love ms as their own daughter. They have done a fine job in raising my husband to be the man he is today. I couldn't be more thankful for these two families who have shaped my husband & I. We are a direct result of their love, persistence & God's grace. Our meal was delicious & filling. I'm thankful for the abundance of nourishment available to me.

The majority of Monday was spent in my home, which is located in a fabulous little cul-de-sac with fantastic neighbours. I'm happy for the shelter I'm lucky enough to dwell in. It's comfy, it's warm & it's safe. My neighbourhood if full of amazing friendly people, all of whom I know are looking out for us & we for them.

Truly this is just scrapping the surface. There is so much that I'm thankful for & although this list isn't 365 things long, I know without a doubt it could be...

Psalm 136:1

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.

Sunday mornings...

have been one of the times I look forward to the most in my week for nearly as long as I can remember.

However, working at a church has greatly affected the way I look at church...hopefully for the better.

I've come to realize that my time spent in a service on a Sunday morning really isn't about me. In fact, anyone who attends church on Sunday & only thinks about themselves is really missing the point.

It's not about if worship was too long/short/loud/quiet, if the offering message inspired/offended me, if the message was too long/short/irrelevant/spiritual, if the coffee was too strong/weak...etc.

Church is not about you, or me for that matter.

I will never forget as a young girl overhearing a conversation where someone said something like, "when you go to church you should be asking God how you can bless someone else, not how you can get blessed." There is so much truth in that statement! Because church isn't about an individual, church is really all about Jesus.

The greatest commandment is to love God & the second is to love others (Matt 22:38-39). There is nothing in there about I, or me...it's all about Him & everyone else.

How many times do people totally miss the point (even leaders!), when suddenly our own agenda, how WE want the 1.5 hours on a Sunday morning to look overrides anything else.

Truth be told, "the person who has the power to give a blessing is greater than the one who is blessed." (Heb 7:7)

When you attend church with an attitude of what you're going to GIVE rather then what you're going to GET, I guarantee what you'll receive in the end is far better then a Sunday service meeting your checklist.

what does your character say?

I've been thinking about character quite a bit lately. We all know that actions speak louder then words. What you do & who you are has more weight then what you say. It's hard to listen intently to what someone is saying when you've come to know & experience the opposite through their actions.

As a result I've been hugely challenged to make the way I act matches up with the words I speak. Although I'm not perfect, I certainly want to be someone who lives & speaks with integrity.

I want my life to be one where the things I SAY I value are actually the things I SHOW value towards. I want my life to be one where people aren't left confused & second guessing what I actually mean.

I want my life to be one where unconditional love prevails over judgement. This means that when I notice someone who's actions don't line up with their words rather then dismissing, slandering, or judging I choose to give them the benefit of the doubt & love them regardless...

One of those days...

You know when you ask someone, "how's your day going?" and they reply, "oh, it's one of those days."? It seems as though the past few months have been full of "those days." I'm not kidding! Although it hasn't all been BAD, it hasn't necessarily all been GOOD either.

The thing with "those days" is that you can make yourself comfortable & get stuck there, or you can keep plugging away, knowing that one day it'll get better. I've found that my life motto of "fake it 'til you make it" has never seemed to be more true then it is now.

If there's one thing I hope to be able to say with conviction & truth when the dust settles it's, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Tim.4:7)

I've been challenged more then ever to keep my heart right. To continually make sure that I'm forgiving others, seeking forgiveness & doing all that I can to allow myself to be changed to be like my sweet Jesus.

I'm confident that one day I'll look back & be able to say that this was a season that really built godly character into me, that it was a massive defining moment in my life, but at the moment it seems life is a bit painful, confusing, frustrating, yet exciting & definitely full of tears (ha! Who am I kidding, nearly every season I find myself in is full of tears ;) ). Realizing that there are bound to be many more months in my lifetime similar to the past few, I know without a doubt that basically my only option as I navigate what's to come is to just keep on keeping on.

Remembering Summer...

The past few months of summer, have seemed to have been a whirlwind of emotions & memories.

From weddings, to funerals, auntie time, auntie withdrawals, family reunions, reunions with good friends, road trips, camping trips, packing for holidays, packing to move & everything in between its hard to believe the warmest season (not to mention my favourite!) is coming to an end.

Although with great sadness I say good-bye to long days, warm sunshine, short work days, weekends spent in my second home, BBQ suppers, iced coffees, raspberry lemon loaf, pedicured feet, sandals, skirts, tank tops & my fabulous tan lines I can't help but look forward to the new season just around the corner.

Having drank my first Pumpkin Spice Latte this morning I can confidently say I'm ready to welcome fall. Boots, pashminas, evenings spent in front of the fireplace with a book, the changing leaves & perhaps a new hair colour are all just around the corner.

As the seasons change a favourite verse from Daniel comes to mind:

He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. (2:21)

Knowing that He is the one who brings change, I'm ready for what's to come. I feel as though I thrive during change. I'm not a huge fan of the familiar as I feel that I get stuck in a rut & don't seem to reach my full potential. I enjoy challenges & being stretched, which is what I confidently feel autumn has in store. Knowing that in 9 months summer will be here again, with an open heart I'm ready to face autumn.