3.4.12

So lately...

A few weeks ago, a thought process & deep conviction that my hubs & I share was challenged. Who knew a thoughtless comment would offend & hurt us so quickly & deeply? At the age of 25 (nearly 26!) I can honestly say I've now experienced a fairly serious offence. Over the past few weeks I've been working through forgiveness towards this individual, which has become a daily thing. It's easy for offence to taint our world views & effect our attitudes. Although the child in me would like to just be hurt & make sure everyone knows it, I realize that pouting is not the appropriate or responsible action to take. Growing pains are never easy, & whether a core element of my belief system needs to change, or if I just need to work on my heart & maintaing a Christ-like attitude, I know one day I'll be thankful for this experience which challenged my character & hopefully was a defining moment in my adult life.

I've always loved writing. I remember being in school & loving any & every assignment that involved having to write a short story, essay, letter etc. Currently my mind is racing thinking of how to best utilize this passion. Perhaps there's a book in me somewhere just waiting to be put onto pages.

Recently I've heard from a few people on more then one occasion that I'm "wise." This word completely humbles & astonishes me every time I hear it. I feel as though my life experience is extremely limited compared to others. I've only had two years of post-secondary education & at a Bible College no less. I have no degree. No children. I've only ever had one real job. How could I possibly be wise? And yet, there's something within that word that resonates within me. I've always desired to be known as someone who has wisdom. As I read through Proverbs, I can't help but be drawn to the character of a the wise person. That is who I desire to be & hopefully who I am becoming.

I turn 26 in a couple of days. I've come to the realization that I'm now closer to 30 than to 20. Although I don't feel older, the number "26" is quite alarming. Who am I? What is my purpose on this earth? How can I reach my full potential? What would I like to do with the remainder of my 20-something years?

I've had this desire recently to go against the status-quo. Perhaps there's a bit of rebellion within me, but I'm fairly confident this stems from a thought process of wanting to know the "why" behind the "what." What's more valuable, the process or the deep set conviction that inspired the process? I hope to be a woman who values what is truly valuable in life.

In light of Easter I can't help but be overwhelmed by the New Covenant. What an incredible gift to receive salvation & freedom from sin & the law. I'm certain my mind barely grasps the fullness of the gift which I have received.

And that's what's been going on in my mind & life lately...

No comments: