It's been awhile...

& I have so many thoughts rolling around in my head & noted all over the place.

In no particular order here's what's happening:

I'm thankful for Post-it notes, scrap paper & Notes on my iPhone & iPad.  Where would I be without the ability to jot down little reminders for myself?

Summer!  Although the past couple of months seem to be a blur, I'm so thankful for a break in the norm & some hot weather.  Honestly, summer has been really busy this year.  There's been quite a bit to cramp into a few weeks, but I've loved (nearly) every minute of it.  Despite the summer cold I'm still fighting, overall summer 2012 is a season to be remembered, full of family, friends & beautiful memories.

I've really missed writing.  It's been strange not to be blogging, or writing documents in Word, or flushing out thoughts in my journal.  It's time to get back at it, to start setting myself some goals & to follow through.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how my belief system needs to line up with my lifestyle.  It's easy to be "a sinner saved by grace."  When I sin, I ask for forgiveness.  The thing is the cycle continues & unless I make a conscious choice, nothing changes.  But something needs to change.

I also really miss reading!  It's been longer then I prefer since I last picked up a book, relaxed & just read.  My days have been so busy lately that it seems when I sit down to relax I'm just falling asleep, not reading.  This needs to change...soon.  So soon in fact that I'm planning on stopping to pick up a book or two this afternoon.

This coming autumn looks as though it'll bring a few more changes then just the leaves colours.  I like change.  I thrive in change.  I'm excited.  Perhaps I'll be changing my hairstyle soon as well just to get this ball rolling.

Oh, the weekends...

I love summer.  I love the sunshine, the heat, the thunderstorms, the sandals, breezy sleeveless tops, skirts, pedicures, sunglasses, long weekends, camp fires, BBQ's...I could go on & on.  I really just love summer.

One of my all time favourite things about summer is my weekends.  Matt & I both grew up camping & consider it a favourite past time.  As a result we make a point of using our trailer as often as we can.  The truth is, it's a lot of work for us to get away for the weekend.  We lead incredibly busy lives between family, work & all sorts of other things we find ourselves involved in.  Often times our weekends end up starting Friday evening after work & end bright & early Sunday morning before work.  Between Matt's job & mine it's difficult for us to get a full weekend away.  Yet, we still take as much time as often as possible to escape to our "home on wheels."  We've recently gotten water toys that really add to our time of relaxing as we escape to the lake for hours at a time.  Weekends that we aren't able to get away for our glorious 24 hours, we take the opportunity to get away for 2-4 hours on the water.

Although it requires work to get away, there is something to refreshing about being away from all the busyness found at home, in our offices & continually pestering us on our phones.  Not only are these weekends physically refreshing as we relax (once we FINALLY get away BEFORE we have to pack up again), but there's something that refreshes our souls as well.

I love that summer lends itself to weekends away in our trailer, or afternoons on the water.  I love the refreshing that takes place as I escape from my normal life of fluorescent lights to the calm of the warm sunshine.

This is why from Victoria Day in May, until Labour Day in September I live for the weekends.

And then it was June.

Where does time go?  How is it that 2012 is nearly half over already?  I feel as though reflecting back over the past few months is the same as look at a toddlers piece of art; crazy, confusing & yet beautiful.

I like feeling as though we're finally having moments where the sun is gracious enough to grace us with its presence.  Although this past winter wasn't particularly cold, it was extremely gloomy.  How nice to feel the warmth of the sun & watch life being breathed into nature once again.  I've enjoyed moments of being outside in the sunshine, basking in its warmth, while filling my lungs with the fresh air.  Hopefully this summer will be full of these refreshing moments spent outdoors with those nearest & dearest to me.

It's amazing how life get so busy at times that you feel as though you've shifted into autopilot.  Without a doubt, I could define my life this spring as being in autopilot.  It seems that sometime the end of March something shifted & I began just going through the motions.  Perhaps it was that I was done with the dreary, windy weather.  Or maybe it was caused by conversations & circumstances I found myself in.  Whatever initiated it, I'm now realizing the effects it's had on my outlook & attitude towards everything that has found it's way onto my "to do" list.

As life seems to be springing up all around me, I can't help but want to get in on vibrant freshness of the world.

The thing is, it takes more then just wanting to feel free & alive.  It takes a conscious decision to wake up with excitement for what the day holds.  It's up to me to choose to my attitude, it doesn't just happen.

And with that in mind, as the earth seems to be coming alive, I'm reminding myself that it's my choice to get in on the exciting new life springing up all around.  It's time to get out of autopilot & get on it with it.  So watch out, I'm ready to bloom.

About my mom & family

With Mother's Day having just passed, I've been quite reflective the past little while about how incredible my mom is.  Those closest to her & who know her well, know that her life has certainly had it's share of difficult situations & yet, she is strong & could easily be defined as an overcomer.  My mom is beautiful to the core & her beauty from within radiates outwards.  Her identity is defined not by what she does, rather by who she is & by who has created her.  She is without a doubt supportive, encouraging, passionate & faithful.  The way she models unconditional love consistently points me to Jesus.  She loves & values people, a trait that I believe she has passed on & instilled into her children, which leads me to type the following...

I am a lover of all things family. I'm an advocate for the family.

The thing I'm realizing, is that at the core of my love for family, it's not so much about my family, rather about relationships. More then relationships, it's the essence of having a safe place to fall & to receive unconditional love, no matter what.

This love that is so deep within me, I truly believe was placed there the moment I was created. People crave relationships. I think of the movie "Cast Away" with Tom Hanks, he craved relationship so much he became friends with Wilson, a volleyball. There is no doubt in my mind that people were never created to be alone.

Personally, I could not be more thankful for my parents & siblings. Without a doubt my sister is my most trusted, best friend. My parents are one of the few safe places in my life that I can run to regardless of the situation I find myself in. My brother is always just a phone call or text away & although younger then me, has been my "protecter" since we were children.  The family I've married into is equally as important & valuable in my life.  I realize the relationships I have with my inlaws are precious & indeed rare.  My husband & I value our relationships with our family members above all others & desire to create a home where family is always a top priority.

I do realize however that not everyone has been as fortunate as I have in terms of biological parents & siblings. Unfortunately family as I know it is not the norm. This would explain the numerous people who have been in & out my life growing up, acting as "older siblings," as they were seeking a safe place like the home I grew up in.

And this is where one of the beautiful things about families comes in. Family can be created. If at the end of the day, a family is the people you feel most loved, accepted & safest with, then no DNA testing can define or determine your family.  However there is one key factor involved with family as I know it, & that is intergenerational relationships.

A little while ago I had the distinct joy & privilege of spending time with some extended family.  From my great aunt, to cousins the same age as my parents, plus a few cousins closer to my age, these three generations spent some precious moments together & were the envy of many around us.  Every once in awhile I need to pinch myself as I think of the reality in which I live.  I think one of my family's greatest assets is that we're inclusive, as all families should be.

They say that blood is thicker then water.  As it should be.  Family are the ones who stick closest through thick & thin.  Who support & encourage in all circumstances.  Family are the ones who display unconditional love in the most overwhelming ways that cannot begin to be described.

In the end, our family in whatever shape or form it comes will always be there & in turn, need us to be there for them.

Hope is hope

A few weeks ago I was talking with my mom on my way home.

{As a side note, first I would like to say how God certainly knew what He was doing putting me in the 21st Century! I can't imagine my life without the technology that I have at my finger tips. Everything from luxuries within my home like appliances, running water, central air etc., to my vehicle, my mobile phone, computers & the internet. I can't imagine having to heat water over a fire just for a warm bath, washing clothes by hand, or not having the means to communicate with those nearest & dearest to me where ever & whenever I like!}

Back to my conversation with my mom...this particular day we had both had full days. We both have jobs that require working closely with people & their emotions. My mom works at a high school & I work at church. Although we have very different job descriptions & employers, I think often times our jobs are very similar. That day was one of those days that was similar, yet very different

However, there is one detail which separates our jobs regardless of the situations, it's a little four letter word...H-O-P-E. The beauty of working in a church, is that I'm given the freedom to offer hope in every situation I face. Not only in my own approach to situations, but also in how & what I say. Working in a public school, my mom is confined to what she's able to share in situations, however, the tone she uses, her attitude &a actions are able to display hope in perhaps a more tangible way then my words ever could.

I'm fairly confident that the greatest gift you can offer someone in crisis is hope.  What more do we really want then the hope that things can change, that people will change, that sickness will be healed, that something better will come of an awful situation.  At the end of the day, it's hope that often gets us through those darkest moments in our lives.

The truth is, the packaging doesn't really matter.  Whether I'm offering hope through Bible verses & prayers, or my mom is offering hope through a calm tone & a positive attitude, the effects are the same.  Perhaps the situations my mom offers hope in are more difficult for something with a faith in God, as she needs to be a bit more creative in her approach, but at the end of the day hope is hope.

Since I am employed by a church, & as a result able to be "churchy" I leave you with this...
"we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." (Romans 5:3-4)

The Life You've Imagined

Have you ever seen those mugs, or journals that have inspirational quotes on them at Chapters? Today one quote from the cover of a journal has come crashing to mind, "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." -Thoreau.

The truth is the life I'm living is more then I ever imagined it would be in terms of what I dreamed as a little girl & even what I had hoped for in high school. I married my best friend just over four years ago. Our relationship has been full of beautiful, romantic moments that make up fairy tales. We built our first home & moved in just over three years ago & it has quickly become more then just a dwelling place for us, it's our safe place where we're establishing ourselves as a family. Both my hubs & I started our careers fairly young & despite many opposing situations have managed to be successful by the worlds standards & by our own personal standards as well.

The thing about the above quote is that I think "life" encompasses more then just what you DO & HAVE. I think it really boils down to do who you ARE. What character traits define you? What are you passionate about? What do you love?

With my 26th birthday still fresh in my memory, I can't help but challenge myself to "Live the life I've imagined," as I realize there are only a few precious more years left in my twenties. I've come to understand that what I DO & HAVE is ultimately trivial at the end of the day. It's my character that creates this "life I've imagined."

And so bearing all this in mind, I'm bravely facing the next four years with a smile on my face. I'm looking forward to new adventures & challenges as I stretch myself to live this life to it's fullest. The future is no doubt bright & so I'm putting on my sunnies; I don't want to miss one second because I've been squinting!

So lately...

A few weeks ago, a thought process & deep conviction that my hubs & I share was challenged. Who knew a thoughtless comment would offend & hurt us so quickly & deeply? At the age of 25 (nearly 26!) I can honestly say I've now experienced a fairly serious offence. Over the past few weeks I've been working through forgiveness towards this individual, which has become a daily thing. It's easy for offence to taint our world views & effect our attitudes. Although the child in me would like to just be hurt & make sure everyone knows it, I realize that pouting is not the appropriate or responsible action to take. Growing pains are never easy, & whether a core element of my belief system needs to change, or if I just need to work on my heart & maintaing a Christ-like attitude, I know one day I'll be thankful for this experience which challenged my character & hopefully was a defining moment in my adult life.

I've always loved writing. I remember being in school & loving any & every assignment that involved having to write a short story, essay, letter etc. Currently my mind is racing thinking of how to best utilize this passion. Perhaps there's a book in me somewhere just waiting to be put onto pages.

Recently I've heard from a few people on more then one occasion that I'm "wise." This word completely humbles & astonishes me every time I hear it. I feel as though my life experience is extremely limited compared to others. I've only had two years of post-secondary education & at a Bible College no less. I have no degree. No children. I've only ever had one real job. How could I possibly be wise? And yet, there's something within that word that resonates within me. I've always desired to be known as someone who has wisdom. As I read through Proverbs, I can't help but be drawn to the character of a the wise person. That is who I desire to be & hopefully who I am becoming.

I turn 26 in a couple of days. I've come to the realization that I'm now closer to 30 than to 20. Although I don't feel older, the number "26" is quite alarming. Who am I? What is my purpose on this earth? How can I reach my full potential? What would I like to do with the remainder of my 20-something years?

I've had this desire recently to go against the status-quo. Perhaps there's a bit of rebellion within me, but I'm fairly confident this stems from a thought process of wanting to know the "why" behind the "what." What's more valuable, the process or the deep set conviction that inspired the process? I hope to be a woman who values what is truly valuable in life.

In light of Easter I can't help but be overwhelmed by the New Covenant. What an incredible gift to receive salvation & freedom from sin & the law. I'm certain my mind barely grasps the fullness of the gift which I have received.

And that's what's been going on in my mind & life lately...