Just a little while ago I spent a weekend grad dress shopping with my mum and sister in Edmonton. The time has finally come for my younger sister to leave high school behind and face “the real world”. Time and time again she mentions how much she is looking forward to leaving the drama behind. I too remember being at that stage, unfortunately lately I realized that the drama never really completely leaves.
While I was in grade 12 I dated a guy whom I had had a crush on for nearly all my middle/high school years. I remember being completely ecstatic the evening he asked me out, I also remember someone (we'll call her Brittany) being completely pissed off because she too had a crush on him, although I’m sure the real reason Brittany was pissed off was because he asked me out at her birthday party…that I crashed (my crush and his best friend assured me it’d be fine if I showed up). I’m fairly confident that for the rest of my grade 12 year Brittany cursed me every time I passed her in the hallways, not that I cared – I had won the guy (typical grade 12 attitude).
After graduating I never saw or heard of Brittany ever again…until today that is.
I stopped by one of my favorite bookstores today to get lunch from their magnificent café. While chatting with the owners I caught the glance of a familiar face…the best friend of Brittany, the girl who wanted my high school boyfriend. As I continued my conversation with the owners of the bookstore out of the corner of my eye I saw Brittany, who hated me all through my senior year, peering over a card stand to get a look of me. My conversation continued and I then saw Brittany and her friend move a bit closer and peer over another card stand at me. I couldn’t help but giggle.
It amazes me how much things change in 5 years, and yet how much things stay the same.
The ultimate challenge comes when I examine myself. How have I changed (or not) over the past 5 years? My husband often challenges me that I can only be responsible for myself, and so I attempt to rise above…
The other day through a series of quite outrageous circumstances a friend of mine deleted me on Facebook (I know, I know, not a big deal…but a the same time IT IS since Facebook has become the litmus test for all friendships). At first I so upset, “how dare she delete me? I didn’t even do anything.” And so the drama queen in me began to rise, and again my husband’s words ran in my heart, “you can only be responsible for yourself.” And that’s when I made a conscious choice, "I will NOT be the drama queen in this situation. I will not change the way I treat her, talk about her, or to her."
I think for women it’s often hard to put down the drama queen crown and choose the less traveled road. Girls can be mean, there’s nothing quite as fierce as silent aggression.
The choice I have to make (and ultimately everyone has to make) daily, is to only be responsible for myself. When I start taking offense in what’s going on around me and acting accordingly, that’s when I become the drama queen. When I remain true to myself, and the character that has been developed over the years within me, that’s when I put the crown down and rise above.
So beautiful women out there…what will you choose today?