the music in my head

To Know Your Name
The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems.
Forgiven I'm alive, restored set free.
Your majesty resides inside of me.
Forever I believe. Forever I believe.
Arrested by Your truth and righteousness.
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness.
Convicted by Your Spirit.
Let by Your word.
Your love will never fail. Your love will never fail.
I know You gave the world Your only Son for us.
To know Your Name.
To live within the Saviour's love.
He took my place.
Knowing He'd be crucified.
And you loved. You loved a people undeserving.

- Matt Crocker

Making the bed.

I recently got a bit short with someone who shared my bed with me.

I had gotten up early in the morning to go to work, and when I came home later a night ready to go to bed I was shocked and a bit upset to find my bed in a complete mess. It probably didn't help that there were clothes on the floor and I was really tired, a bit emotional and on the verge of being super cranky.

Now that I think about it, I'm a bit ashamed that I was so upset about something so stupid. I mean it's a bed and five minutes after I got upset about it, I had crawled into it to make it even more messy.

As I think about it now pondering why I was so angered by my bed not being made (other then the fact that I was exhausted) and this is what I have come up with:

1. I like things to be neat and organized. It's not very often you'll find me working in chaos (or living for that matter).
2. Have you ever noticed that even when a room is messy (as mine has been this week because of extremely late nights and early mornings) if the bed is made it looks a little cleaner.
3. Because sometimes I forget that everyone is not like me, and that this delightful person that I do actually love very very much, who I'm so happy to have in my life, is still just as delightful even though we don't agree on beds being made.

*Sigh* I miss it...

Last night (at a crazy late hour considering how busy this week has been!) I sat down to watch the Saviour King DVD with my incredibly hot and amazing fiance, and my parents.

...it made me cry.

No, I'm not that spiritual that seeing people worship made me cry (although I have had my moments). It actually made me homesick for Hillsong. And it's not that I don't like where I am. In fact I'm loving life right now. God is so good and faithful. I'm doing what I love. I can't imagine being anywhere else, or doing anything else right now (and I especially love being in the same city at my incredibly hot and amazing fiance!).

BUT, while I was in Australia, Hillsong was more then just Sunday services to me. It was my life. What I watched on the DVD is what I experienced everyday as I entered into the Hub for chapel. It's what I was apart of on Thursday mornings at
hillsongwomen. It's what I did every Friday night at Powerhouse.
Imagine doing that everyday for two years?



So do I miss it?
Yes.

Would I like to go back?
Yes.

Do I resent people and circumstances that have brought me back to Canada.
Absolutely NOT!

And until I return to Oz, I will simply enjoy Hillsong via CD's & DVD's.

Manga

When I entered my office Sunday morning before church a book sat on my desk 'Magna Messiah.' I casually brushed it to the side (I often have books placed on my desk that TMC receives for free and passes on to us).

Today P.Wayne came in and told me that we're ordering a couple cases of this book...let me tell you about it:

The word 'manga' in Japanese means 'comic'. But 'manga' has really become a artistic style of its own. 'Manga Messiah' (you can check it out here) is the gospel presented in 'manga' format.

Although I'm not a huge fan of 'manga' myself 'Manga Messiah' appears to be a new way to present the gospel to elementary and middle school aged children (and in some cases to adults as well) in a culturally relevant way. And since I'm pretty much all about relevance I suppose its time I start getting into 'manga'....watch out Sailor Moon...here I come ;)

FYI:

I'd rather be here:
With him:
Doing this:
Drinking this:

beauty contrasted...

UGH!!!

OK, so here's how the story goes...something happened at work that I didn't do, but that I'm responsible for because the people who did it "work under me" (that's leadership, eh?). ANYWAYS, dealing with everything that went down with it frustrates me! I'm not a confrontational person (haha, believe it or not), I don't like conflict. I'd rather just forget this happened and hope that it never happens again. I mean it's an issue...but it's not a HUGE issue. BUT, if the people who did this thing that is wrong will probably continue doing it unless confronted and told not to...right? And this is one of many reasons why being in leadership frustrate and stretches me.

But...I'm learning :)

Oh I wish

I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything

When pop-stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when God Saved the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
When my mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs,
And playing games meant kick around
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

I was born too late to a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

by Sandi Thom

Funny how this happens...

So, last night I had a bit of a tiff with a friend of mine. And as I was brushing me teeth Phil. 2:5 came to mind:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
And immediately I thought:
"Yeah, my friend's attitude should have been the same as Jesus'. In fact it should always be! They often have a poor attitude and they need to work on changing it. I'm going to share this verse with them and hopefully they'll get it, and start changing their attitude because I'm sick of it!"
And then God spoke to me as He often does and He said:
"Ummm...Catherine, you might want to change your own attitude first. Because it does say YOUR attitude should be the same mine, not everyone else's should be the same as mine. You're only responsible for your own."
"Oh yeah...thanks God."

Yet another one of those lessons that goes along the lines of taking the plank out of your own eye before you remove the speck from someone else's.

changed it...just for you M.L.

If you've ever commented on this blog you've probably noticed that your comment needs to be approved by moi before you can view it on this blog. Well...I've recently made some changes so that your comment will be immediately posted but you have to do the word verification thing.

This makes life easier for me, and hopefully less annoying for you :)

It's all for you Michael my friend!

computers & God.

My work computer is a MacBook Pro...somewhere along the lines something go hugely messed with the battery and such, and for some reason even though the computer AND the battery said that the battery was fully charged the laptop needed to be plugged in for it to actually work.

WELL...things have suddenly gotten worse b/c now when the computer is on and the battery is fully charged and connected to the laptop it doesn't even recognize the battery...AT ALL!

It's interesting, b/c as I'm sitting here thinking about how stupid the computer must be that it doesn't even recognize the battery...the little thing that keeps it going between being plugged into the power source I've had this thought dropped into my head...sometimes we people are stupid in the same way and don't recognize the Holy Spirit in our lives. It's like, we're plugged into church, and we attend Bible study etc. etc. etc...BUT in the inbetween times we totally forget that we have this continual power source that keeps us going.

Stupid computers...maybe sometimes stupid me...

Anyways...something for ME to mull over...and possibly for you to as well.

WORD...

God's word became my daily spiritual food and daily spiritual drink. His Word alone is able to quench spiritual thirst and satisfy the soul at any time and in any circumstance. I always loved books, because they enlarged my worldview and formed my beliefs. But once I started to read the Bible and think about what it ways, I found it to have a much greater effect on me and my life as a whole than all the books I've read put together! It has the ability to penetrate the most secret place in my heart, change it and make it better. It is able to transform my being, my thinking, my beliefs, my feeling, my future - my entire life!

- Vera Kasevich
(Born for a Purpose)

Still learning that it's ok...

So, I'm a bit of a people pleaser...I was a bit more of one about two years ago, and for the most part I've totally overcome that people pleasing battle, but I still have my moments (mostly when I'm lazy) that I slink back into people pleasing mode.

At the moment I'm somewhat in the process of learning that it's ok to be brutally honest about how I'm feeling with the people that I love most. Traditionally I attempt to keep the peace and to keep people close to me happy; the last thing I'd want is for someone who means a lot to me to be upset with me, so I'd rather tell them what they'd like to hear and leave it at that.

I'm also in the process of learning that it is ok to change my mind...I know that my yes is to be yes and my no to be no BUT does this mean that if I say something before I even experience it that my emotions need to remain the same? Or are my feelings allowed to change. I'm also beginning to understand that I can take more time to actually speak my mind to make sure what I'm saying is in fact the truth about how I'm feeling?

Confusing...???

Don't worry, I'm confused most of the time myself...and this is supposed to be my life :)

something I admire.

My fiance Matthew James is the most amazing man in the world! If you know him you'd agree with me, if you don't know him you must meet him so that you can say you know "the most amazing man in the world."

Let me tell you what he's done recently which makes him absolutely completely amazing...

A friend of ours is spending his summer in Portland doing summer sales, and his parents and brother decided to go for a bit of visit and naturally called "the most amazing man in the world to house/dog/plant/hot tub sit. Why would they call a 20-something year old to do the job? Because he's incredibly responsible and dedicated. You can be sure that Matt isn't going to do something half hearted.

For example...Matt doesn't even like dogs (not usually at least), and while our friend's parents are away he babies these two pups...gives them their special diet, makes trips home during his breaks to make sure they're ok, lets them sit on his lap and sleep with him (?!?). AND, he's always more then willing to watch these two dogs.

Matt is the kind of guy who would give the shirt off his back for you...

or give up part of his long weekend to babysit for you.

Admirable quality...definitely!!!