I love (RED)

I love (RED). You should too.

Dream Big...Seek First

The past couple weeks have been weeks of much dreaming. The most exciting part is that we're (my amazing, attractive fiance and I) starting to see some of these dreams become a reality. It's completely amazing. I'm so looking forward to the future, and all that we're going to see happen.

BUT...
The other evening while I was reading I came across this:
But seek first His kingdom & His righteousness, & all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:33-34 NIV)

Yet another lesson in leaving my future up to God and living in the moment, not the ones to come.

Is it wrong to dream? Absolutely not...I myself will continue to dream and to dream BIG. And I will continue to work towards those dreams and desires that are within me. But even more then that I will continue to "steep my life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions" (The Message)

changing the world.

There’s a song that many Christians my age know and love called “History Maker.” I think the reason my generation loves it so much is b/c we all (including older and younger generations) desire to be remembered, to be noticed. If the only way we’ll achieve that is through making history, then we’re going to do it.

The sad thing is, how many thousands upon thousands of Christians have sung that song at the top of their lungs, but upon the song ending have nothing but a warm fuzzy feeling and no conviction to actually be a history maker?

For as much as I believe we want to make history and change history, I think we’re all to scared, to actually do it. Despite our desires to be remembered, and to be noticed, we’d rather not incase what we are remembered for, or noticed for is something that actually makes us out to be idiots.

I look at Jesus, the ultimate history maker and how people reacted to Him. He was an idiot in some people’s eyes yet made the biggest impact on history known to mankind. And still…I’m afraid I might be made out to be an idiot. That’s actually what makes me the idiot. My own insecurity.

There’s this phrase that I often hear from my co-workers and other people that I interact with on a regular basis that says “you’re here for such a time as this.” If that is in fact true what am I so insecure about? If I’d just get over my self and my own comfort level maybe I could in fact be a history maker.

I often tell people I desire to change the world one child at time. Pretty big statement, but
I honestly desire to
change
the
world
one
child
at
a
time.

How? How do I change the world? How do I change a child? Lucky for me I’m in the perfect position to bring about change…whether I actually do or not is another story.

I interact with anywhere from 10-50 kids on a Sunday morning alone. The choices I make in how I act and react can bring about change. Do I bring joy and display love to a child? Or I am impatient and frustrated as I converse with a little one? How am I changing their view of themselves, or others, of God?

I also have the chance to speak truth and purpose and love into who knows how many kids lives every Saturday morning. Am I living a life of integrity? Am I living how I’m challenging kids to live?

What are you doing to change your world? Does your neighbor know that you love them more then you love yourself (if not you might want to make some changes…check out the second greatest commandment sometime).

Really what my life comes down to is loving God and loving people. Does God know that I love Him? Do others know that I love Him? Do other people know that I love THEM?

Am I really willing to stop saying I want to be a history maker and instead just BE ONE?

Changing the world starts in your own home. In your neighborhood. At your job. With your family. With your friends. Are you leaving people the same way you found them? Are you making an impact? If so, hopefully it’s a positive one. I pray that you and I will have the guts to be history makers…true, sold out, whatever it takes, history makers.

Grey Cup memories...

If you're Canadian you should know that yesterday was the Grey Cup (95th to be exact). Hopefully you also know that the Roughriders won and the Grey Cup is back where it belongs in Saskatchewan.

My parents hosted a Grey Cup party, which has become a tradition in our home. In fact, as a child I remember Grey Cup being the only time when we were allowed to eat in the living room. And actually for quite awhile Grey Cup was the only time when food was allowed out of the kitchen period.

And so, yesterday in true Dempsey fashion, we had food in the living room while watching the game. And to top it all off, the Riders won. It seriously doesn't get much better then that!


ps:The last time the Riders won the cup was in 1989...I won a pizza for that piece of trivia on Friday night!

inspired...

Yesterday afternoon I headed to Medicine Hat with my incredibly amazing fiance and my wonderful mum.

Out little trip out there was so encouraging. You have no idea how much of blessing it is that my fiance is already part of my family...he loves them and they REALLY love him. I loved my time in the vehicle with two people that I love most in this world. The conversation was somewhat therapeutic.

We met up with my dad and a family friend at Starbucks upon arrival, which again was amazing. There's something about the bond between family and people who are practically family minus the same gene pool.

Finally we headed to the college to watch my cousin's quartet perform. You haven't heard jazz until you've listened to Jodi Proznick. World class musicians right there (check them out here)! To be completely honest, I'm generally not a jazz fan, but something about the music last night hit something within me. The memories and emotions that I experienced cannot be described.

Yesterday was a day of inspiration...and lack of sleep... :)

FYI:

Only 117 more sleeps until I'm a Furukawa!!!

Big Brother

I've always wondered what it would be like to have a big brother. I've always wished for one to be "over protective of me," always looking for me. I've even tried to have older male friends replace that desire by being big brother-ish.

I actually do have a big brother. This is him. Only his name is Scott. He was born June 7, 1982. He lived to 23 days.

there's nothing quite like

my Starbucks coffee first thing in the morning in my to-go mug

hearing my fiance's voice on my way to work

reading an e-mail for a friend who lives 10 bazillion time zones away

being part of a community (both local and global [praise the Lord for the internet!])

hearing about engagement's and people expecing

feeling like I've accomplished something

feeling at ease b/c I know where I'll be living in 4 months (130 more sleeps to be exact)

hugs from the people who love me most

dreaming

trying on my wedding dress

feeling at home

reading my Bible

that small voice inside giving me hope

change...

"Fear of change comes from a shallow relationship with Jesus. People fear change because they've lost their focus on Jesus. Change isn't only about instituting something new or eliminating the status quo. Change is about our growing relationship with Jesus. If that relationship is growing and deepening, so are we. And our ability to face the future and respond to change in positive ways grows, too."
-Bill Easum

Maybe, yes.

Change is inevitable.

I've come to realize that even more over the past few months. From changes in relationships, to changes in location, to changes in careers. It seems that every time I turn around, or answer another phone call, or read another e-mail something is changing.

How true (at least in my life, perhaps not in yours) that how I cope with change comes down to my relationship with Jesus. If things are good between us change doesn't seem so hard to handle. Or maybe it still is hard to handle, but I'm more ok with it because I have a greater sense of who's got it all under control when I clearly have no control.
On the other hand, I can always tell when I've let my relationship with Jesus slip because that's when I get more stressed over what should be a simple change.

I know in my head that God is in control. I know that He loves me and that He wouldn't bring me to different places in my life to abandon me. But there's a difference in knowing that in my head and getting a revelation of it in my heart.

Change is inevitable. How I deal with it, how much I trust God with it, how closely I cling to the promises of the Bible, is up to me.

Love you just the way you are. FULL STOP!

Basically, I'm sick and tired of hearing about people who appear to having everything together and then out comes this dirty little secret and suddenly its as though life falls apart. Friends and family disperse and you're left thinking maybe it was better to keep the secret rather then tell the truth.

What makes me even more upset is when within "Christian" circles we treat a person as if they have leprosy. It's like we have this thought that if we ignore the issue (or the person) it will just go away and our community can go back to normal...until another dirty little secret comes out.

But maybe it's not a dirty little secret, maybe it's a husband and wife who separate for a time (which by the way isn't always a BAD thing...in some cases it could probably a really GOOD thing). Or maybe one of our good little Christian girls date non-Christian boy (and that is usually no secret).

I think the church has screwed up pretty darn bad at being the hands and feet of Jesus in some cases. We look down on people, we judge them, we gossip about them (although that should come as no surprise).

Remember that story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-11)? Didn't Jesus say "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her"?

I'm pretty sure each of us has sinned (if you're not sure read Romans 3:23). Meaning no one is in a position to judge.

I'm not by any means saying that sin is ok. However, who the heck am I to judge and condemn a person?

And as far as the way Christians treat other Christians...how the heck do you think you'll reach someone who's not a Christian if you can't even act like a Christian to another Christian?

Basically my point is this, my job is to love God and love people (Luke 10:27). Not to love God and change people...to love people. When I (and the rest of the Christian community) can get this right, I'm pretty sure we'll see some amazing things happen.

I love love!

If you know me at all you know that I get excited quite easily.

WELL...how's this for an exciting week...

THREE of my friends from college are engaged (two of them are engaged to each other).

Basically the smile on my face is pretty darn big and I super pumped!

PLUS it's only 141 more sleeps until my wedding.

I love love!

written for thefamilyroom

I recently wrote this for thefamilyroom blog (you can check it out here) It won't be up for a couple more weeks, but I thought I'd share it on here as well...



Being only 21 and not yet married (although the count down is on…146 more sleeps!), I’m sure it would seem odd that I’m involved in something that’s all about building up family when I don’t even have my own. But I do come from a GREAT family, which makes me passionate about the fact that EVERY family should be GREAT!

Through my job I have the privilege of interacting with many families, and I really enjoy watching how families function as a unit.

I’ve come to the conclusion that destiny of a family relies on relationships. There are numerous families everywhere that have fallen (or are falling) apart because of poor relationships. And it breaks my heart. Even families that appear strong in my world seem to be breaking apart at the seams.

A little while ago I made my brother and sister promise that we’d never hate each other. Now, we’re a pretty tight bunch, so I doubt that would really ever happen, and I credit our close relationships to my parents. James, Jillian and I never had the option of fighting with each other. And if there was ever an issue we were required to talk it through, apologize and FORGIVE each other meaning NO GRUDGES!

Now, years later with two of us out of the house we’re all the best of friends. Thanks to communication at an early age we’ve created a safe place where we can share our minds and hearts and know that the other person isn’t going to judge or resent us for what we think.

In some cases redemption between siblings may be too late (or so it seems…there’s always hope), but in your own family it’s never too late to start you kids off respecting and loving each other.

As a child there were times when I’d be more angry at my mum then at my brother or sister because she made us figure things out. Now, I can’t thank her enough for helping me build relationships with my best friends.

I love you, and you’re family!

~cj

Pearls.

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them, a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite."

"That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you."

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian style.

As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, daddy; this is for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure.


**I didn't write this**

The Way They See It

The Way I See It #283
The most important thing in life is to
stop saying "I wish" and start saying
"I will." Consider nothing impossible
then treat possibilities as probabilities.

-David Copperfield


The Way I See It #291
In a world where celebrity equals
talent, and where make-believe is
called reality, it is most important
to have real love, truth and stability
in your life.

-Bernie Brillstein

Don't get me wrong.

I'd way rather be in Australia right now. But who wouldn't right? I mean it's getting cooler here in Canada and only getting hotter down there. But I don't think you really understand my wanting to go.

I'm missing something and I'm pretty sure it's there.

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving being in Lethbridge right now (ha, betcha never thought you'd hear those words come out of my mouth!). I love being close to Matt (more then you'll probably ever know). I'm loving being close to my family. I love my job (who knew that at the age of 21 I'd already be doing what I've been dreaming about forever, plus way more?)

BUT, there's this tiny little detail that's missing, and unfortunately it's on the other side of the world...

the girlfriends who listen to and know my heart, my dreams, my passion, my true feelings.

If you're a guy, you probably don't understand what I'm saying (unless you're Matt ;)). If you're a girl hopefully you're totally picking up what I'm putting down. I'm missing those people who are always up for a chat. It's totally a girl thing, and I'm slowly coming to the point where I'm getting over it (good, or bad we're not totally sure).

And that dear reader is why I'd rather be in Australia (with Matt of course!).

ps:L.A. would work REALLY well too.

I'm messy.

I've just about finished reading a book called Messy Spirituality by Mike Yaconelli. In just reading the first chapter I was nearly in tears as I felt like Mike was writing about me! Every chapter since has been so real to me.

It's somewhat funny being in ministry with people expecting you to have all your ducks in a row (or maybe I'm the only one who's expecting that of myself). And it seems that everyday I realize how out of whack my ducks really are. And then just when I start to think that maybe I've got it all together something else happens and I yet again realize that I'm not perfect.

The greatest part about it all is that I'm really the only one expecting myself to be perfect. No one else really notices or cares b/c they're all busy trying to get their ducks in a row as well. And if they are noticing, maybe they need to take notice of some of Jesus' words to the religious people in the New Testament. (Maybe that's a bit harsh, but it's truly how I feel.)

I'm coming to a place where I'm ok being messy. I'm ok with the fact that my ducks aren't completely organized b/c I'm coming to realize that Jesus really truly does love me anyways and believe it or not is going to continue to use me.

That's not to say that I'm not going to attempt to get my ducks in a row. B/c I'm so in love with Jesus I can't help but give Him my all and give it to Him with excellence.

I'm in the process of cleaning up, and chances are I always will be. The greatest part about it all is that I have a promise that God will never leave me or forsake me not matter how messy I get.

don't ask me, I don't know.

Don't ask me "how are you?" today.


I don't know.


I'm just having one of those days.


That's not a cope out.


I just honestly don't know.


Maybe try asking tomorrow.


:)

the bliss of day dreaming without the reality of the $

I remember as a little girl day dreaming of the day when I would get married and how it would be picture perfect. Every little detail would be in place. Everything would be elegant and exquisite. And after the wedding we'd go on a romantic honeymoon for a bazillion years and stay in the most fabulous, expensive room. And when we came home from our bazillion year honeymoon we'd be completely settled in our beautiful home with gorgeous furnishings in a nice little, well developed community. Little did I know that my $2 allowance would not be quite enough to make these dreams reality.

Now that I'm twentysomething and planning a wedding as well as look for a place of residence once I'm no longer a Dempsey and able to live in my parents home with meals ready and waiting for me when I arrive home from work, I'm realizing that nickels and dimes add up and it always seems that I never have quite enough.

Oh, how much I would like to be 8 years old again just day dreaming of today, rather then living it.

Thought, I must admit, I am more well off then I let on. I do have a very stable job, as does my incredibly handsome fiance (haha and being "incredibly handsome" helps that much more in being "well off."), and we are continually finding ourselves hugely blessed. Still I must keep in mind that we are only twentysomething, and the gorgeous houses that we have grown up in, filled with gorgeous things, took years for our parents to acquire.

One day I will arrive (God willing) and although I'm fairly positive my financial worries will never completely disappear, maybe one day the daydreaming (at least of the house) will in fact be a reality.

the easiest way.

Part of my job is to make leaders schedules for all of the pre-school programs at my church.

I love it!
I get to meet the greatest people ever who have the same heart for children as I do! It's just a honor to work with men and women who desire to see children come into a deeper relationship with Jesus.

I hate it!
Sometimes I feel like I've exhausted all me resources. There's conferences and special events on top of weekends and sometimes its SO hard to get people involved.

BUT it's amazing when I FINALLY (and more often then not it takes way too long for me to) just leave it in God's hands, instead of phoning and phoning and phoning (YET AGAIN...the SAME PEOPLE) to see if they'd like to help...how quickly people that I would have never thought to ask come to ME to ask me if they can help. (Make sense...probably not).

God is truly amazing.
And He always blows me away when I let Him take total control.
I love Him.
And I love that I can trust Him.

family = community

So there's been discussion on the importance of community quite a bit lately. Whether it's been around the table at dinner concerning community within the volleyball team, or at school, or college, or church. There's also been numerous blogs wrote and read on the importance of building community. And recently there's been huge emphasis at my workplace put on community. And basically it all boils down to family (in my opinion at least).

At work we've gone through quite a few changes over the past few months. The boat as been rocked a bit. But through it all, it's basically made all the employees a tighter family, which in turn has built community. But not only at work...we're seeing it expand to church, and ultimately the nation through different ways we have influence. And it's this community that gives us the support and strength to get through the challenges. And it's this strong sense of family and community which increases our influence and impact on those around us.

I answered phones last week in a prayer center and you would not believe that amount of calls we received asking for prayer for family. For reconciliation, for strengthened relationships.

This week this group called Mom2Mom started up. It's all about building community to encourage and equip moms to do a great job!

Basically it's all boiling down to building community. Authentic relationships. Strengthening family.

I'd say its the mandate for Christians. To create a safe place, a community, where ANYONE can come and feel apart of the family.

In my mind family = community.

Let me tell you, something is definitely happening bigger then I could ever imagine, and it's beginning with the family, with community, with people building strong, real relationships.

I love it. And I want to be apart of this movement towards community.

What is normal and will I ever get there?

Is there really such thing as normal? What is it?

At the moment it feels like my life is upside down.

Wait a minute I've had this feeling ever since January.

Maybe what I'm in the midst of right now is in fact normal. Maybe this is actually the way things are supposed to be. Am I supposed to be used to disappointment and grief and conflict and being tired!?!

It feels like traumatic event, after traumatic event keeps happening in my life; that there is no smooth sailing. Yet, I know that it could always be worse.

And at the same time...there are those moments of complete joy when the sun seems to poke through the rain clouds.

The crazy thing is that I'm one to be optimistic, who sees the cup as half full. And it is half full...right?

I'm getting used to this craziness. But not too used to it, b/c I doubt that the surprizes thrown at me will ever be comfortable.

The greatest part of it all as that through whatever happens God continually shows His faithfulness. And although my life hasn't been as traumatic as Paul's I feel as though his words in 2 Corinthians can be said of my life now too:
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the most gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12:9-10)

So, I suppose life is actually really good
and possibly
even

normal.

I'm pretty sure that...

it all comes down to where your focus is.

In 2 Samuel 11 it talks about David and Bathsheba. The first verse of this chapter says: "In the spring, the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king's men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem." (NIV)

Now sure, David is the king, and typically kings can do whatever they like, BUT it was spring "the time when kings go off to war."

I'm just speculating here, but I think that this was the point where David lost focus. This is where he took his eyes off of what God had called him to do and decided to be more concerned with what was most comfortable and enjoyable for himself. And this is where he screwed up massively and basically David's rule is all downhill from here.

It's funny though, in my personal life, when I take my eyes off of what God has called me to do and begin focusing on myself, that's when everything goes downhill.

Matthew 6:33 says: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." [sidenote: this is in red letters = spoken by Jesus = absolute truth]

Therefore I've come to the conclusion that as long as I'm focused on my King and what I believe He's asking me to do I'll be alright.

It's all about your focus.

What are you focused on?

the music in my head

To Know Your Name
The precious blood of Jesus Christ redeems.
Forgiven I'm alive, restored set free.
Your majesty resides inside of me.
Forever I believe. Forever I believe.
Arrested by Your truth and righteousness.
Your grace has overwhelmed my brokenness.
Convicted by Your Spirit.
Let by Your word.
Your love will never fail. Your love will never fail.
I know You gave the world Your only Son for us.
To know Your Name.
To live within the Saviour's love.
He took my place.
Knowing He'd be crucified.
And you loved. You loved a people undeserving.

- Matt Crocker

Making the bed.

I recently got a bit short with someone who shared my bed with me.

I had gotten up early in the morning to go to work, and when I came home later a night ready to go to bed I was shocked and a bit upset to find my bed in a complete mess. It probably didn't help that there were clothes on the floor and I was really tired, a bit emotional and on the verge of being super cranky.

Now that I think about it, I'm a bit ashamed that I was so upset about something so stupid. I mean it's a bed and five minutes after I got upset about it, I had crawled into it to make it even more messy.

As I think about it now pondering why I was so angered by my bed not being made (other then the fact that I was exhausted) and this is what I have come up with:

1. I like things to be neat and organized. It's not very often you'll find me working in chaos (or living for that matter).
2. Have you ever noticed that even when a room is messy (as mine has been this week because of extremely late nights and early mornings) if the bed is made it looks a little cleaner.
3. Because sometimes I forget that everyone is not like me, and that this delightful person that I do actually love very very much, who I'm so happy to have in my life, is still just as delightful even though we don't agree on beds being made.

*Sigh* I miss it...

Last night (at a crazy late hour considering how busy this week has been!) I sat down to watch the Saviour King DVD with my incredibly hot and amazing fiance, and my parents.

...it made me cry.

No, I'm not that spiritual that seeing people worship made me cry (although I have had my moments). It actually made me homesick for Hillsong. And it's not that I don't like where I am. In fact I'm loving life right now. God is so good and faithful. I'm doing what I love. I can't imagine being anywhere else, or doing anything else right now (and I especially love being in the same city at my incredibly hot and amazing fiance!).

BUT, while I was in Australia, Hillsong was more then just Sunday services to me. It was my life. What I watched on the DVD is what I experienced everyday as I entered into the Hub for chapel. It's what I was apart of on Thursday mornings at
hillsongwomen. It's what I did every Friday night at Powerhouse.
Imagine doing that everyday for two years?



So do I miss it?
Yes.

Would I like to go back?
Yes.

Do I resent people and circumstances that have brought me back to Canada.
Absolutely NOT!

And until I return to Oz, I will simply enjoy Hillsong via CD's & DVD's.

Manga

When I entered my office Sunday morning before church a book sat on my desk 'Magna Messiah.' I casually brushed it to the side (I often have books placed on my desk that TMC receives for free and passes on to us).

Today P.Wayne came in and told me that we're ordering a couple cases of this book...let me tell you about it:

The word 'manga' in Japanese means 'comic'. But 'manga' has really become a artistic style of its own. 'Manga Messiah' (you can check it out here) is the gospel presented in 'manga' format.

Although I'm not a huge fan of 'manga' myself 'Manga Messiah' appears to be a new way to present the gospel to elementary and middle school aged children (and in some cases to adults as well) in a culturally relevant way. And since I'm pretty much all about relevance I suppose its time I start getting into 'manga'....watch out Sailor Moon...here I come ;)

FYI:

I'd rather be here:
With him:
Doing this:
Drinking this:

beauty contrasted...

UGH!!!

OK, so here's how the story goes...something happened at work that I didn't do, but that I'm responsible for because the people who did it "work under me" (that's leadership, eh?). ANYWAYS, dealing with everything that went down with it frustrates me! I'm not a confrontational person (haha, believe it or not), I don't like conflict. I'd rather just forget this happened and hope that it never happens again. I mean it's an issue...but it's not a HUGE issue. BUT, if the people who did this thing that is wrong will probably continue doing it unless confronted and told not to...right? And this is one of many reasons why being in leadership frustrate and stretches me.

But...I'm learning :)

Oh I wish

I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair
In 77 and 69 revolution was in the air
I was born too late into a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

When the head of state didn't play guitar,
Not everybody drove a car,
When music really mattered and when radio was king,
When accountants didn't have control
And the media couldn't buy your soul
And computers were still scary and we didn't know everything

When pop-stars still remained a myth
And ignorance could still be bliss
And when God Saved the Queen she turned a whiter shade of pale
When my mom and dad were in their teens
And anarchy was still a dream
And the only way to stay in touch was a letter in the mail

When record shops were still on top
And vinyl was all that they stocked
And the super info highway was still drifting out in space
Kids were wearing hand me downs,
And playing games meant kick around
And footballers still had long hair and dirt across their face

I was born too late to a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker with flowers in my hair

by Sandi Thom

Funny how this happens...

So, last night I had a bit of a tiff with a friend of mine. And as I was brushing me teeth Phil. 2:5 came to mind:
"Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
And immediately I thought:
"Yeah, my friend's attitude should have been the same as Jesus'. In fact it should always be! They often have a poor attitude and they need to work on changing it. I'm going to share this verse with them and hopefully they'll get it, and start changing their attitude because I'm sick of it!"
And then God spoke to me as He often does and He said:
"Ummm...Catherine, you might want to change your own attitude first. Because it does say YOUR attitude should be the same mine, not everyone else's should be the same as mine. You're only responsible for your own."
"Oh yeah...thanks God."

Yet another one of those lessons that goes along the lines of taking the plank out of your own eye before you remove the speck from someone else's.

changed it...just for you M.L.

If you've ever commented on this blog you've probably noticed that your comment needs to be approved by moi before you can view it on this blog. Well...I've recently made some changes so that your comment will be immediately posted but you have to do the word verification thing.

This makes life easier for me, and hopefully less annoying for you :)

It's all for you Michael my friend!

computers & God.

My work computer is a MacBook Pro...somewhere along the lines something go hugely messed with the battery and such, and for some reason even though the computer AND the battery said that the battery was fully charged the laptop needed to be plugged in for it to actually work.

WELL...things have suddenly gotten worse b/c now when the computer is on and the battery is fully charged and connected to the laptop it doesn't even recognize the battery...AT ALL!

It's interesting, b/c as I'm sitting here thinking about how stupid the computer must be that it doesn't even recognize the battery...the little thing that keeps it going between being plugged into the power source I've had this thought dropped into my head...sometimes we people are stupid in the same way and don't recognize the Holy Spirit in our lives. It's like, we're plugged into church, and we attend Bible study etc. etc. etc...BUT in the inbetween times we totally forget that we have this continual power source that keeps us going.

Stupid computers...maybe sometimes stupid me...

Anyways...something for ME to mull over...and possibly for you to as well.

WORD...

God's word became my daily spiritual food and daily spiritual drink. His Word alone is able to quench spiritual thirst and satisfy the soul at any time and in any circumstance. I always loved books, because they enlarged my worldview and formed my beliefs. But once I started to read the Bible and think about what it ways, I found it to have a much greater effect on me and my life as a whole than all the books I've read put together! It has the ability to penetrate the most secret place in my heart, change it and make it better. It is able to transform my being, my thinking, my beliefs, my feeling, my future - my entire life!

- Vera Kasevich
(Born for a Purpose)

Still learning that it's ok...

So, I'm a bit of a people pleaser...I was a bit more of one about two years ago, and for the most part I've totally overcome that people pleasing battle, but I still have my moments (mostly when I'm lazy) that I slink back into people pleasing mode.

At the moment I'm somewhat in the process of learning that it's ok to be brutally honest about how I'm feeling with the people that I love most. Traditionally I attempt to keep the peace and to keep people close to me happy; the last thing I'd want is for someone who means a lot to me to be upset with me, so I'd rather tell them what they'd like to hear and leave it at that.

I'm also in the process of learning that it is ok to change my mind...I know that my yes is to be yes and my no to be no BUT does this mean that if I say something before I even experience it that my emotions need to remain the same? Or are my feelings allowed to change. I'm also beginning to understand that I can take more time to actually speak my mind to make sure what I'm saying is in fact the truth about how I'm feeling?

Confusing...???

Don't worry, I'm confused most of the time myself...and this is supposed to be my life :)

something I admire.

My fiance Matthew James is the most amazing man in the world! If you know him you'd agree with me, if you don't know him you must meet him so that you can say you know "the most amazing man in the world."

Let me tell you what he's done recently which makes him absolutely completely amazing...

A friend of ours is spending his summer in Portland doing summer sales, and his parents and brother decided to go for a bit of visit and naturally called "the most amazing man in the world to house/dog/plant/hot tub sit. Why would they call a 20-something year old to do the job? Because he's incredibly responsible and dedicated. You can be sure that Matt isn't going to do something half hearted.

For example...Matt doesn't even like dogs (not usually at least), and while our friend's parents are away he babies these two pups...gives them their special diet, makes trips home during his breaks to make sure they're ok, lets them sit on his lap and sleep with him (?!?). AND, he's always more then willing to watch these two dogs.

Matt is the kind of guy who would give the shirt off his back for you...

or give up part of his long weekend to babysit for you.

Admirable quality...definitely!!!

The rewards

come each time we see that a difference has been made for just one child. That child whose life is turned around might just be the 'yeast' that over time, activities regeneration in

a family,
a community,
a region,
a country,
the world.

- Christina Noble

The MOMENT that makes it all worth it.

I'm back at work after one week at Summer Fun Camp with ROL. It was quite the week with around 140 kids, and about 50 staff we definitely had our work cut out for us when the week began Monday morning, complete with a few bumps along the way (is anyone REALLY surprised?).

Many of the kids at the camp were from Kidz Alive which was an incredible opportunity for our staff to show Jesus as many of these children don't know Jesus or attend church.

But along with 180+ people comes drama...especially when you throw kids into the mix. But God once again proved Himself incredibly, over and above, faithful when two women felt they needed to be praying for us.

That morning God's presence was so incredibly huge in "Wild Bible Adventures" as children went around the circle and one by one shared a moment when they felt God had been with them. Imagine that...children (some of which who don't have a relationship with God) identifying a moment in their life when they had felt God with them...and to top it off all the other children remained silent while they listened to their peers share their stories.

Little God moments like this continued to appear throughout the next few days. On the final morning a little boy who is highly ADD and ADHD, who's on regular medication came up to me and asked me to smell this hand. As I sniffed it (it smelt of frankincense and myrrh) he told me that the smell reminded him of Jesus. He then proceed to show me a rock he had which reminded him of God, because a couple days earlier he had used it to help build a monument to God.

Basically God is good,
and big,
way bigger then what I could ever think, ask or imagine,
He continually blows my mind as He works in and through people,
especially children.
Yes indeed...
GOD IS GOOD.

What's in a name (or title)

So, I recently heard of someone who was asked to take a "step backwards". This person had a job which is a sense gave her much "power," and their boss felt there needed to be some adjusting and asked them to take over a new area which gave them less "power". Knowing this person a bit...or at least knowing about them caused me to ask...how did they deal with it...

"Not too well."

This SO challenged me, because although this person may not have the same "power" or "pull" they're in a place of HUGE influence still, and they didn't take it well?

How much value do we place on a title? Do we esteem the "position" more then what we're doing while sitting in that place?

Here's something funny, I've heard this person speak before and they have said on numerous occasions that it doesn't matter what your position is, just as long as you're doing it with all your heart and building that which you are apart of. Interesting...maybe it's time to start practicing what we preach.

Maybe I need to re-evaluate what I'm preaching and make sure I'm living it as well.

On the other side of the world.

My brother has been in Japan for the past two weeks. It's been quite the past two weeks waiting for e-mails and excitedly reading messages on facebook. I now know what it feels like...

From January 2005 until January 2007 I was in Australia. I have a new understanding of how my mum was, waiting for me to log onto Skype or MSN or to write a new blog or e-mail.

It's interesting being on the other side of the world. I'm excited for the day when my sister gets to be the one on the other end...experiencing something new...while we all wait around the computer or phone for news of the world unknown to us.

242 more sleeps...

...until I'm a Furukawa.

I'm engaged to the most amazing man on the planet! He has a heart after God, and is truly the man of my dreams. My checklist is basically fulfilled:
1.pastor (not in the actual paid sense, but he does have a very pastoral heart...and there are those who are trying...haha)
2.surfer (he tried and succeeded in Australia!)
3.cowboy (I have seen him on a horse...and he was quite comfortable, by some people's standards)
4.rich (as far as money goes...we're working on it)
5.able to play guitar (you better believe it and he's actually very good at it!)
6.able to kill a gross and disgusting things that gross me out and try to attack and kill me by eating me! (ask him sometime about the bug as big as my head that he killed).

Matthew James is quite perfect really...and I'm hugely blessed by him, and at times feel quite inadequate and undeserving of someone so wonderful, but then I realize that he's exactly what I've always asked God for because he gets along so well with my family and is my BEST FRIEND.

In case you didn't know, I'm SO excited!

who i am and what i do.

Jesus is my first love. My relationship with him is solid, although the journey we're on together is a rollercoster.

Matthew is my fiance. He's my best friend, and I've fallen in love with him.

My family is of utmost importance in my life. They're pretty great. I would not be who I am today without them.

I'm pretty sure I'll be a student for the rest of my life. Not necessarily in an institution, but I love learning and know that there is still much for me understand.

I've spent two years in Australia...I'll be back one day.
Somehow my heart has ended up in the UK. I've decided to continue delighting myself in the Lord, knowing that He will give me the desires of my heart.

It's a bit of a secret, but I enjoy driving...and driving fast. I even like driving in big cities. But especially on highways, particularly in the praries. I also really enjoy being a passenger.

Give me a good book and a cuppa anyday and I'll be happy :)

I love children's ministry. Kids are the future (cliche, I know), and I'm so passionate about impacting lives young

...or old for that matter. I desire to be a world changer.

I work for a church, and I love it. Hate religion, but love the church...as it's called to be. Maybe one day we'll actually be doing exactly what we've been created to do.

In the fall I'll be on tv. I host the Saturday morning children's program on the Miracle Channel called The Edge. It's pretty sweet and I love it.

My Second Attempt...

at blogging.

We'll see how it goes.

This is my world...as I see it...

one day at at time...

as a daughter of the King...
a woman...
a fiancee...
a daughter...
a sister...
a friend...
an employee...
a history maker...
a world changer...

as

me...catherine jayne...