What Now?

Life seems to be just passing me by lately. Hours turn to day, which turn to weeks, which turn to months. Finding myself a week into March I can help but question, "how in the world did I end up here?"

Never before in my life have I had such feelings of uselessness. My resignation the end of September, 2012, brought a welcome break. For the first time in my life, this planner has had absolutely no plans.  Never did I anticipate I'd be unemployed for so long & yet here I am. My whole life I've known what my next step is & now I'm stuck wondering "I'm here, now what?"

Last week I had the privilege of speaking at the Christian Camping International (CCI) Retreat for Alberta in Gull Lake, AB. My mom & I did some tag-teaming in a couple of workshops & I have to say that together we work quite well. It was so refreshing to do something that I feel competent at. I love preparing & delivering messages. Public speaking has always been something that I've felt totally comfortable & dare I say, called to do. Being surrounded by camp people renewed my excitement for this summer as I'll be spending two weeks doing on of my favourite things, camp ministry. In April once again I'll get to do some tag-teaming with my mom at a women's retreat. In the midst of this wilderness of wondering what's next I love experiencing moments of refreshing, doing what I love.

I'm ready to start a new career chapter, although it could potentially be short lived. If nothing else then for the sake of my sanity I need something meaningful to do, even if it looks like making coffees or stocking shelves, or perhaps something will come of the networking done at the CCI Retreat.

As I wait & trust my greatest planning to the ultimate Planner, it's hard to imagine what's next. With the bump now forming around my tummy I'm continually reminded that regardless of what I end up doing, come August, "mother" will be added to my list of job titles.