The past 15 months of my life I feel as though I've been in transition mode.
Someone in my life who's very wise made a comment the other day that seems so true at this time in my life. She said:
"Normal is a setting on your washing machine."
How true! What seemed to be normal last year, is no where close to what normal is to me this year. In fact, "normal" seems to be changing everyday. It's becoming normal for me to be over tired. It's becoming normal for me to have way to many things going on in my head. It's becoming normal for me to be pre-occupied with work/family/friends... It's becoming normal for me to dump on my fiance and family members. In fact, it's almost becoming normal for me to be grumpy.
Hopefully all of this too shall pass...it seems that everything else that's been normal in my life has.
The only thing that I've come to know to be really normal, is my God. In the midst of everything else that's happening He remains steady and strong. He still loves me even after I blow up and scream at Him for what I see as unfair and hurtful circumstances. And, God has blessed me even more, by not only being available to me, but by putting incredible people in my life who are available as well. People who I know would drop anything to just let me cry in their arms. People who don't except an explanation for the scowl on my face. People who are allowing me to work through things at my own pace, in my own way.
I'm daily discovering how undeserving I am of all that God has blessed me with. I come up short and will continue to...yet, here I am, by the grace of God. With people around me who love me unconditionally, just as God does. That's normal to me...even though the daily dealing of my life seem as far from normal as can be.