I read the following in an e-mail yesterday:

Engaged people are obsessed with preparation. The right dress. The right weight. The right hair and the right tux. They want everything to be right. Why? So their fiance will marry them? No. Just the opposite. They want to look their best because their fiance is marrying them.

The same is true for us. We want to look our best for Christ. We want our hearts to be pure and our thoughts to be clean . . . We want to be prepared.

(Max Lucado)

I love it, and can identify with it.

The four years of my life it seems like I've been in this place of preparation. To say I've been on a roller coaster would be an understatement. I've dealt with various emotions that I never thought possible, and have spent countless hours crying out to God for some sort of relief, as it seems one painful turn of events leads to another. Yet through it all, there have been times when the only form of comfort I've received has been in knowing that I'm being prepared.

I can only take responsibility for myself - my own thoughts, actions and words. It's been a painful process of keeping my heart right, and watching what I say and do, but it's all out of love and preparation for the lover of my soul.

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